“What made her think that that was OK?” my boyfriend says to me as a lady walks by us. I know he’s referring to her, because I had been strenuously restraining my urge to laugh at her, but I know she caught me staring at her with my eyes practically bugging out of my head. I quickly looked away and started thinking about hockey to distract myself to keep from laughing at her, because although she looks crazy-ridiculous, I still don’t wanna be mean. (I know, you’re wondering, ‘Why hockey, Ruby?’. Well, I figured that if guys think about sports to become, umm, less…aroused, then maybe it would work in helping me become less…amused? It was worth a try, in any case).

‘So what was so funny about her Ruby?’, I’m sure is what you’re now wondering. And no, I’m not mean enough to laugh at someone’s face, unless it’s because they’re wearing ridiculous makeup. It was her outfit. She looked like a baby tramp from her neck down but from her neck up, she was a 40 year old woman desperately wanting to relive her glory days, when men loved her for her body, and not just for her mind. I mean, her body wasn’t so bad…she just looked…ridiculous. Tiny little shorts, belly skin all out (did I mention it’s winter), and even though she was thin enough, her shorts were cutting into her tightly enough that she appeared to have love handles. Oh, and she was wearing a hat (it was kinda like a cheap stripper, 1980’s “jail porn scene” hat) and she was wearing some “I’m a cool biker chick” jacket, although for the life of me I can’t remember if it was jean or leather. I would also like to mention that we were at a bar and it was karaoke night – so everyone else was wearing jeans and a sweater.

I mean, honestly, what WAS she thinking? Why do some women do that? OK, maybe not to that extreme, but we all know, or see, some women who are always wearing age/event/weather inappropriate gear, and they seem so out of place, and the clothes are so extra tight and scandalous, that you can’t help but think to yourself that she would probably look 10 years younger and whole lot more sexy if she covered up a bit more. OK, a lot more. What is it about some women that makes them feel like they have to dress like wannabe porn stars to be attractive and stand out in a crowd. I mean, maybe it’s just because I have always had a healthy level of self confidence, but I have always been on the side of ‘less is more’.

And not that I’m a little priss who thinks that showing skin is some abomination and will set the women’s rights movement back by a decade (I can’t stand those women – sorry if you happen to be one of them). Just because you want to flaunt your sexual attractiveness sometimes doesn’t mean that you don’t respect yourself, and don’t expect respect from others. Anyone who knows me knows that at times (OK, more often than I like to admit) I am a cleavage junkie. I like my boobs, and I like putting them on display. However, if I wear a low cut top, the rest of me is covered. Otherwise, when I look in the mirror, I get the distinct impression that I’m not looking at myself but rather at my stripper-alter-ego. Showcasing cleavage, tummy, ass and legs is serious overkill, and sends the message that not only do you have a low self esteem, but that you like to take strangers home with you after a few drinks. Especially when the place and time clearly don’t call for that kind of get-up. Just saying.

Cheers