I know I have been neglecting my blog for the past week, but in all fairness my medical issues (if nothing else…not even school :-p) have to trump blog priorities…at least sometimes ;-). For those of you who don’t know me, I have been having some intense abdominal pain that I am desperately seeking relief from. So far, I have been on a plethora of medication which manage to at least temporarily minimize some of my discomfort, and I now have a bushel of fruitless or pointless hospital and doctor’s visits under my belt, starting from the beginning of November with my walk in woes.

Seriously, until you are in dire need of immediate and effective medical treatment, you just can’t be truly aware of how entirely inept our medical system can be. And I’m not saying that fantastic, brilliant doctors don’t exist, I just say that they are more so the exception than the rule. While watching Michael Moore’s Sicko with a friend at the beginning of my illness (or perhaps slightly before it) I remember thinking that while he had managed to find several instances of people who had had unfortunate encounters with the North American medical care system, that as he was making an editorial type documentary it would make sense to only present these dark, inadequate images to illustrate a point. And in my statistics class, one of the first things we learned is that you can manipulate any statistic, present it in numerous different ways if required, to suit your purposes. But, as is natural with human nature, now that I am currently one of those “unfortunate situations” I’m starting to think that Moore was less illustrating a point (like that McDonalds documentary…I mean seriously, who ACTUALLY eats McDonalds ONLY for breakfast lunch and dinner?) and more so casting some light on some serious deficits that need to be addressed.

Why, Ruby, why? I’m sure you’re asking yourself. What has made you so jaded against our fine medical professionals in this fine, fine country? Well, for now, I’m only going to address the past 2 weeks (although I honestly have several more instances I won’t go into…but trust me they’re equally ridiculous). So lets start when I go back to the doctors office because I can’t even keep water down. He gives me 2 new prescriptions to take on top of the 2 I am taking, and tells me that there isn’t much else he can do until I go for my colonoscopy and gastroscopy of February 1st. “well, what if this doesn’t help?” I enquire, lips chapped, shivering slightly because I am dehydrated and exhausted. “Well, if it doesn’t help, just try and rest” he replies, dead serious. Like, honestly? Cause I totally wasn’t resting before while in this condition, I was out running marathons. Whatever *rolls eyes*

Ok, so the medication helps (thankfully) and soon I am back eating my solid (if limited) foods again. And then, after a wonderful party this past Friday (more on that later…) I am struck with the worst dizziness and nausea I have felt yet. Can’t chalk it up to the alcohol because I have only had 3 drinks (and trust me, I am NOT a lightweight) but still, I sit very still in the car on the way home, desperately praying i make it over the porcelain throne before puking my guts out. Success! I make it, begin dry heaving…only to find out I am vomiting mucous and blood again. Fantastic! Guess the new meds aren’t helping. Whatever, I’ll deal with it tomorrow….

Until I am struck, very suddenly, with the most violent pain I’ve had to date. I literally couldn’t stop sobbing, couldn’t move, couldn’t even hold a phone. I downed 3 of my pain pills and waited for them to kick in, praying my tenants might hear me and save my life. No such luck, but eventually the pain subsides slightly…enough to call my mom and crawl into her car 25 minutes later so we could go to the hospital. I must say, I have had some pointless hospital visits, but this one took the cake! In their (only) defense I was seen relatively quickly enough. However, the rest of this visit was horrific.

Let’s start with my nurse who must have barely graduated from nursing school (if at all) and then falsified documents to get her job (or maybe she gave a bj to the superintendent of the hospital..). Now, first I must say that I have had my blood taken in the past 3 months at least 5 times. In my lifetime, honestly maybe 500 (not even exaggerating). I also have HUGE veins in my arm, so getting a needle in and out has never been a problem. I have never understood people who bitch and moan about needles and the pain and bruising…it’s never been a problem. Until this moron, that is. Not only is my arm left with a half inch long cut rather than a little prick hole, but there’s a big huge bruise, and my arm is STILL hurting. And she didn’t put any gauze or anything on it. For hours. I had to specifically ask her to put some gauze on it. Like, seriously? The worst part is, she had the nerve to actually suggest that this was perfectly normal. Ummm, no, it’s not. Maybe you fuck shit up like this normally, but my arm doesn’t normally do this. Don’t get it twisted, I’m 25, I’m not new.

So after all that, I see the doctor who tells me that he isn’t going to do anything because I have an appointment on Monday. Oh, I see…so if something ruptured then on Monday when I’m already septic they can figure that out. Thanks. Then he decides he’s going to check my “lady parts” (seriously, he said “lady parts”…WTF era are we in that a doctor can’t say ovaries or uterus???), which he did very unceremoniously and extremely gruffly (he could have at LEAST told me his name first :-p) and for about 5 seconds or so, and then said “nope, nothing wrong there”… and he was done. No, wait, he offered to give me a shot of one of the meds I take. Which did nothing. All in all a pointless endeavor.

So pretty much at this point, my entire well being depends on Monday. On this illustrious, highly anticipated appointment with the gastroenterologist, who will stick scopes in various holes of my body, examine my insides, and this whole hellish fiasco will be over. (I won’t even go into the “cleaning out” process for the colonoscopy…lets just say three things: painful as hell, the most DISGUSTING thing I have ever tasted and 4 litres of it was the most torturous thing ever, and pissing out of the wrong hole (literally) is the most interesting experience I have and will ever have) If you would like a more detailed (not disgusting…actually pretty funny) account of this process, click here. Yeah, so, anyway, while on the operating table, I finally meet Mr. Gastro, I give him a very brief rundown of my issues, they start the sedation spray my throat and then start sticking the tube down my throat…WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! I was NOT impressed…so much so I started trying to rip it out (thats totally a Classic Ruby movement!! lol)…they finally took it out and I told them that (as I had asked) I need to be told what they are going to do BEFORE they do it, not while. Then I remember nothing until waking up (those drugs are some kinda serious, cause they wiped my memory, clean. Even though apparently I was awake the whole time). Where they promptly tell me that they sent out biopsies, and give me a diagnosis that has already been rejected, along with a prescription for a medication that does the exact same thing that one of the ones I currently take does.

Lets just say, once again, I was not impressed. In tears, so angry and volatile because Mr. Useless was supposed to be Mr. Saviour, I put on my clothes, start a fight with my mother, and then shun the world (after apologizing to my mother and telling everyone how freakin’ useless doctors are).

So in conclusion, I still don’t know what’s wrong with me, still have no real plan for how to get better, and still have no relief. So I ate a Super Supreme Pizza Hut pizza (my absolute favourite…but I am not allowed to eat things like that anymore since it makes my stomach worse) deciding that I am going to be rebellious as hell for the next week, watched TV and then promptly fell asleep before the pain could kick in (I hadn’t slept at all the night before…the hunger pain kept me awake :-s). So today, I have to come up with a whole new plan of action as to what steps I need to take next to try and figure out what’w wrong with me, pick up a useless prescription and then figure out what drugs I should keep taking/discontinue, continue trying to catch up on 2 1/2 missed weeks of school, AND find a way of watching the episode of House I fell asleep during. Should be an exciting day.

I have officially decided I hate doctors. I hope my friend (who starts med school in September) keeps my experiences in mind when he’s practicing and decides NOT to be a lazy, useless prick who’s just in it for the paycheck.

Sorry for the long rant y’all, just needed to get this all off my chest. Next time, on to useless nonsense once again! lol

Cheers