Here’s the thing: before you read this post, I want you to understand I am not one of those preachy “don’t have a glass of wine and then drive or you’ll DIE” kinda people. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I think there are several factors that go in to whether or not someone is too intoxicated to drive. I mean, you have body weight, what you’re drinking, how long you’re drinking it for, and previous exposure. Now, don’t think that I’m saying just cause you’re used to drinking a keg all by your lonesome each night it means that eventually you’ll be able to do so and afterwards be sober enough to drive. However, if you regularly down a couple pitchers a few nights a week, after a few beers you’re probably not phased (or are-but barely). Now, if you NEVER drink at all, or very rarely like on special occasions only, you’re a lot more likely to be completely flat on your ass after pint #2. In conclusion, I would rather get into a car with a person who has had a few beers tonight who is a drunk versus getting into a person’s car who has only had one glass of wine but never ever drinks.

Secondly, tying into the previous point, BAC (blood-alcohol content) isn’t the whole story. As in our previous example, dude who only had the one glass of wine isn’t legally intoxicated. However, his body is not used to processing alcohol, nor is it used to trying to function and compensate for the natural depressant effects of alcohol. and as a result any impact that the alcohol is having on his CNS will be further magnified by inexperience. Chickie who has been a drunk for the past 6 months has more than prepared her body to deal with alcohol. You see, when you regularly drink, your body starts to prepare before you have even swallowed your first sip. So, not only does experience teach you how to deal with the effects of intoxication, it takes a lot more alcohol to get you to that point (remember, we’re talking functionally, not BAC-wise). True story: the same thing happens with drug addicts and the drugs they’re abusing: but we’ll get into that in another post.

Now, the problem with these little facts is that people generally tend to use and overabuse them. For example, dude who pounds back 3 pints in 15 minutes because he’s a “veteran” and isn’t even “buzzed” and then jumps into his car might use the preceeding arguments as rationalization for what he’s doing, the plain and simple fact is: if you can’t recognize that downing that much beer in such a short period of time is a bad idea, you’re not necessarily using your best judgement skills. In that case, you really shouldn’t be driving: because not only is safe driving about being concious and aware, it’s also about using common sense. And as we all know, anybody who has a few drinks in their system is at a serious risk of NOT being the most rational, common-sense filled person right at that moment. And this brings us to reason # 1 Why You Shouldn’t Drink and then Drive This Weekend:

#1: Driving Requires Common Sense, And Your Drunk Ass Just Doesn’t Have Any

Seriously. Just think about it. Each and every reason following this also has to do with this simple fact of life. When you are drunk you do not rationalize well, you do not actively think about the consequences of your actions, and you are not equipped to feed yourself the regular ‘what-ifs’ that you need in order to prevent yourself from making too stupid of a decision, and you aren’t able to judge just how BAD an idea something is until AFTER you do it…hindsight is always 20/20 but seriously, some things just shouldn’t require hindsight…which your drunk ass just can’t comprehend. So don’t even bother driving this weekend: let the cab make those life or death common sense decisions for you

 #2 Because Living Life and Having Fun Is WAAAYYY More Fun Than Dying In a Traumatic Car Accident, OR in Jail Because You Killed Someone Else in a Traumatic Car Accident

Seriously, these weren’t even in rare or obscure photos of DUI car accidents. And just because you’ve never been in an accident while under the influence (because you’re a superstar and are immune to getting into car accidents, as are 17 year old boys) doesn’t mean you couldn’t tomorrow. And whether you’re drunk or sober, if you’re not the cause of the accident, there’s shit all you can do to STOP the accident from happening. But rememeber point #1: If you’re sober you’d be able to perhaps make some defensive driving decisions that would prevent you from becoming complete road kill, or killing others: OR you might even be able to prevent yourself from making the decision to put yourself into some of these more dangerous positions (and avoid vehicular manslaughter). Just saying. And worse comes to worst, at least they won’t be smearing your name all over the news as your family tries to cope with tragedy.

 

 

 #3 Because, Seriously, Any Good Partier Knows That A Hangover That Costs You Over $100 is SOOO Not Worth It: Especially When You Are NOT Having a Fantabulous Time

I”m pretty sure the following chart speaks for itself:

Seriously? Again, this pricing isn’t even a worst case scenario. I believe the chart is based on of the states. In Canada, although the overall costs can range to generally the exact same (or even more) the charges will look different. But, in Canada you have your back on track program fee, the cost of the mandatory breathalyzer in your car, the monitoring fee, the fee to obtain a pardon (which I’m sure applies in the states as well, although I couldn’t be sure)…even without a lawyer, you’re looking at at least a few grand just to take the DUI without fighting it…soooo….yeah, maybe a $60 cab seems pricey, but I’m pretty sure maybe a few thousand dollars a year (if you’re a party animal) is SO much better than a few thousand dollars a year of partying, PLUS getting to and from work/school/your man’s house/to the movies (remember, no more licence or car), PLUS a few thousand EXTRA dollars (and who has extra money these days) which is the cost of the charge…. Not to mention the fact that you could actually face OTHER criminal charges up to and including MANSLAUGHTER depending on if you actually injure another person if y’all get into an accident (even if what they did would have made them at fault, the fact that YOU blow over makes you the bad guy). 

#4 Because Any Idiot Can Make 100% Certain That They DON’T Operate A Car While Intoxicated

And I’m not just saying that. Any man, woman or child can read one of these pretty basic charts and figure out not only how drunk off their ass they’ll be after X amount of drinks, but how long it will take your body to clear your system of any traces of alcohol.

So if you look at the numbers it’s pretty clear: that old addage of ‘1 beer per hour and you’re safe to drive’ is pretty much BS. For the average woman it will take you 2 hours from the time you finish consuming your first beer for it to be completely out of your system, and for the average male it’s about 1 1/2 hours. So pretty much, multiply the amount of beers you have by 1.5 or 2 and that’s how long it’ll be before you BAC is at 0.

If math isn’t your strongest point, I’ll break it down for you right here:

ex. A 180 pound man

has 6 drinks over the course of 3 hours

6 drinks= .13 BAC

The legal limit is .05, which for our 180 pound man =2.5 drinks

Which means, before our man (lets call him Bud) can drive, he must expel 6-2.5= 3.5 beers from his system.

Which would take 3.5×1.5= 5.25 hours

After 3 hours, Bud has only expelled 3/1.5 = 2 beers from his system, putting him at 4 drinks, which is 1.5 drinks over the legal limit (.08 BAC)

To put this into a formula that you can jot down for yourself and plug the numbers from the above charts yourself, what you’re doing is:

The legal limit in your state/province = _______

Based on the chart above, for your weight, you hit the legal limit at A=_________ drinks

You have had B=_______ drinks over C=_________ amount of time

Which means, before you are legally allowed to drive again you must erase B ____- A______=________ drinks from your system. Lets call this number D.

Based on the second chart, it takes your body E=_______ amount of time for one beer to leave your system completely.

D______ divided by E_____ =_______ time that must go by before you are at the legal limit (lets call this F).

Now, make sure that your C and your F match, or that your F is lower that your C, and you have the scientific all clear to drive.

 

 

#5 Because there is NO f***ing Way You Want To Be Responsible For You Or Another Person Having To Live The Rest of Their Lives The Way This Lady Will

 

I can’t even imagine having to go through life looking like this at 23 because some ignorant jackass didn’t know that he was waaayyy too drunk to drive: or really, really shouldn’t have been driving. I can’t imagine I had to look like this every day of my life because some ignorant prick didn’t feel like spending an extra $50 on a cab or crashing at a friends house after a party. I don’t think I could realistically live with myself if I was the reason why I had to live like this. I think I would force myself to live in misery and abject pain for the rest of my life if I caused this to another person.

They talk about the living victims often: in the MADD commercials they talk about the families of those lost to drunk driving accidents. But, what we need to remember is that there are many other living victims: One’s like this beautiful young lady whose youth and vitality were robbed from her because of one thoughtless person. Back to point #1: Common sense tells ya that once you are even a bit intoxicated you aren’t at your best. And it should also tell you that no matter how rare such a devastating result may seem to you, its a possibility every time you sit behind the wheel. And if your reaction time being just a millisecond faster could prevent this tragedy from sitting on your heart and soul, all the rest of your days, isn’t it worth $50? Seriously?

By all means, this was not a complete list, nor was it the ONLY or the TOP… Simply, 5 reasons why you shouldn’t drive drunk this weekend. It’s May 2-4 y’all (aka Victoria Day, but who celebrates THAT anymore who’s over the age of 19 without kids lol) and I want you all to bring in the drunken holiday, well, drunkenly. And uber safely! Share your reasons for not drunk driving with me y’all!

Have a Wonderful Weekend!

Cheers