New Moon

“It sounds like that movie is in competition with anything close to nothing”. Yeah, that’s about right. I mean, I wanted to see New Moon; in fact, I had had high hopes for it. In retrospect, I have no idea why since the first one was dry. I guess something in my mind had thought that because it was the first movie for the first book in the series, that they very necessarily had to have at least an hour of “dead time” where they do “character” and “plot” development so that you can understand the fantastical concepts and appreciate the quirky little plot twists and the ways in which all these little intricacies weave together to create the masterpiece that is the Twilight series.

But did they have to do the same thing AGAIN? In all seriousness, the first 10 minutes and maybe the last 30 or so were worth watching. The rest, I could have went to the washroom and someone could have summed up in a tweet what I had missed (I mean the ENTIRE hour) and I wouldn’t have missed a thing. Not only that, but seriously, who HIRED these actors? Both Bella and Edward only know how to express two emotions: wait, no, only one. The other is really only a facial expression. The first is placidity, the second is an amateurish, overly pained kind of..what is it? Tortured…cool-yet-wracked-with-self-assured-self-doubt longing? I don’t know, whatever it is, they do it well I guess since I can’t actually put the extraness that is that emotion into words.

And the special effects? Well, certainly there’s nothing special about them…and seriously, I’m sure that this movie had a decent budget..couldn’t they have sprung for coloured contacts that DIDN’T come from the Dollar Store’s costume section? Just saying. And wow, I think this movie quite truly is the epitome of useless shows of pointless powers that go NOWHERE, overexaggerations of underimpressive somethings or anothers. Can you say underwhelmed? While watching the movie I must have silently spelled it to myself at least 5,000 times just to keep my mind from wandering too far away. SO many other things I wish I could say about this movie, however, I happen to be the type who won’t actually spoil it for you. Just wanted to warn you not to keep your hopes high. If you can get them lower than low, you may still be shooting too high.

I’ll leave you with the advice I gave my friend before his response, which was the opening line to this post: Don’t waste your money going to see it in theater or renting it – borrow it from a friend (well little cousin, since most adults will have figured out it’s NOT worth buying). But, I guess, if someone gives you a free ticket to the theatre, and you have NOTHING else to do ( I mean, your house is immaculate, your hair is washed, you’re well rested) and you’re getting a free ride…then…sure, see it in theater.

Yayy New Moon!!! LOL


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