Why Watch the Fat Girl at the Gym With Disdain? She Knows: She's THERE Isn't She??

fat-girl-cant-blend-inA friend of mine recently started working out. He’s about 3 days strong now, and I remember thinking: You go boy! Starting a major lifestyle change and sticking to it is definitely an extremely difficult thing to do, especially when you have friends, family and a significant other, all who aren’t jumping on the bandwagon with you. Of course, it helps if you have short term goals that you are working towards, like say a beach-ready body in time for a vacation, or to fit into those old size 7’s in time for an upcoming reunion. He’s got a wedding to go to in May in the Caribbean so he’s got his short term goal laid out. And, as I came to find out, his girlfriend will be joining him as well (both on vacation and in the gym) and is desperate to shed a few pounds before meeting his family in sunny beachland in a skin tight bikini.

I give them snaps, because not only are they totally being supportive of one another, but they’ve made a commitment to being healthy and in shape together, which can only further their happiness. But, I fear for their continued success at regular gym attendance, more so her than him. You see, the problem is that she is a big girl, and people like to give her rude or dirty looks at the gym while she is working out…her response was something to the effect of “I’m big? No shit Sherlock! I get it! I’m HERE aren’t I???”. Now, I have been baffled by the onlookers looking discouragingly at this woman who is trying to get in shape and lose weight in the natural and healthy way…what is she supposed to do? Buy a home gym and hide her working out until she is down to the last 20 pounds and THEN, only then, appear in public to sweat like a pig with the rest of the women who work out for show in their cute little workout get ups?

Seriously, I am all for people taking accountability for themselves and their lives. But as a society, we give people who are trying to clean up their act a really rough time. You see a known alcoholic who hasn’t had a drink in two days who is detoxing and is acting rude, irritable, and downright ignorant and mutter “go take a drink, drunkie”. Or, you see an extremely overweight person at a restaurant eating a salad with the dressing on the side and topped with healthy looking grilled chicken and nudge your friend while smirking and say “who is she trying to kid? You KNOW she wanted the double bacon cheeseburger with extra lard!!” But why is it our natural response to not give these people the benefit of the doubt? We would rather see the junkie in the corner zonked out and high as hell than sketchy and needing a fix but resisting the urge because they want to get clean, even if that means erratic behaviour for a while. We would rather see the fat guy eating 2 whole plates of pasta, washing it down with 10 gallons of coke, with a slice of pizza and a whole cheesecake for dessert than a guy who is trying to count calories.

Like, WTF is that about? OK, so maybe in a perfect world people would never get to 250 pounds overweight. And stupid people looking for a fun time or to drown their sorrows would never develop an addiction to the drugs or alcohol that were supposed to be a temporary, occasional freedom. But whatever, we all make mistakes, and we all make HUGE mistakes. Does that mean we should never be allowed to change? Like, once you get past a certain point, you’re denied access back into the world of fitting into the “norm”? Just because something like obesity is a visible problem, something everyone who walks by can clearly see even without trying, doesn’t make it any worse than the compulsive liar, cheater, petty thief, or inconsiderate and arrogant person.

What really pisses me off is that many of the same people who are so critical and judgmental of these issues with real life people are the ones who cluck their tongues in sympathy and complete understanding while watching Intervention or the Biggest Loser. Sorry guys, not everyone has the opportunity to go on an international television show to fix their problems. In fact, most people have no choice but to go it alone. Instead of casting stones because they got to that point, silently applaud that rather than sinking in dejection and misery for the rest of their lives while remaining in the same shitty yet completely alterable state, that they have finally picked themselves up and are doing something about it. *Sigh* I hate stupid people, I really do. Let’s all learn to encourage positive changes in people and society rather than consistently creating an atmosphere full of resentment and disgust, which necessarily creates fear and immobility, perpetuating the cycle of negativity and self destruction.

Again, *sigh*. Well, here is hoping *fingers crossed* that they stay tough and hang in there through these beginning stages so that they can make it to their goal! And if not they can always get matching cutesy beach outfits and hope all that people notice is that they look crazy!! lol

Cheers
fat-woman-skinny-man-on-beach

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16 thoughts on “Why Watch the Fat Girl at the Gym With Disdain? She Knows: She's THERE Isn't She??

  1. Damn…do you ever sleep!

    The same sort of “discrimination” happens to skinny guys at the gym. In fact I wrote a short story about it on my old freaky Myspace blog, but I have no idea where it is. Anyway, when skinny guys go to the gym muscleheads hog the equipment, cut in line and give that “What the hell are you doing here?” look. So while the gym may not be big guys/gals, it’s probably not for skinny people either. With that said, it’s a hell of a lot easier being skinny than it is being big-boned or just plain ol’ fat.

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  2. I’m very guilty of this crime. But your right, this thinking is wrong and I need to put myself into check with this. You don’t have to agree with someone being obese, but if their trying to be better and are in the midst of doing something like working out or eating properly we shouldn’t let our minds judge so easy.

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  3. you killin me! still CTFU at da title. but on a serious vibe I’m with Dewan. Women dont realize how hard on tha ego it is to be the skinny unfit one tryna pump some iron, with all the big guys actin like you wastin their time while they b waitin for tha machine cuz you liftin not even a 1/8 of what they do.

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  4. I know i always end up being hte bad guy in your comments but i’m one of those girls that stares at the huge girl/scrawny guy at the gym and thinks to myslef “don’t even try and play me, baby!” lol. Same goes with eatin. my daddy is all up on that if i bring a man home who is on the small side he asks him why he doesn’t eat more/lift more weight! And in my fam, you gain enough weight to be considered fat you get laughed out of family dinners! lol. So I’m shallow so sue me! I don’t care!

    Being fat is not a disease its a choice and I look down at anyone who chooses to be so big it offends my eyes, who wants fat sweat all over their workout bench. fat sweat smells i heard its from yeast in fat folds or something. so yes, i think they should stay home until they are just a little overweight. there are workout videos. or stop eating donuts and chocolate – and don’t say you eat healthy and good portion sizes its your thiroid because we are all hip to ya!

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  5. I’m shocked how you twisted this into a serious topic when I couldn’t stop laughing at the title for some reason. But it was good! I cosigned this one on twitter, I think you bring up a good point!

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  6. Hey guys,

    I don’t know why it is holding some of your comments for moderation as I didn’t set it to do that. In the future, email me right away. For now, I am sorry about the inconvenience, but I have your comments out now! Cheers!

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  7. @ Dewan…NOPE!
    And its funny, my friend is a skinny guy, and his chick is a big girl, so you can imagine how interesting that must be for both of them!! LOL…actual he mentioned the “muscleheads” in this same conversation, and how annoying and unproductive he felt his workout was because of them..

    But yeah, at the end of the day, being a skinny guy beats being a fat girl…ANY DAY…hell, being a fat guy beats being a fat GIRL any day…most things beat being a fat girl, people are mean, and life can be very unfair :-s…poor tings!

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  8. @ Dlite…you’re not the bad guy…just the unpopular one! LOL! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And my family is very much like yours. The difference is, while you can’t change your family, and you can’t change some of your inherent thoughts or feelings, you can change the way you behave. I’m not saying you need to tell fat people you think they are beautiful or that you need to support big boned girls, because you are allowed to think they are unhealthy (primarily because to some extent most obese people are unhealthy).

    But you CAN change the way you treat them, the way you behave toward them. Like, if you can’t bring yourself to talk to them, at least be cordial, smile at them in a hallway as you walk by. Or at least stop making gagging sounds as they walk by. But if you want to be a good influence on people the best way of doing that is by being an attractive person, inside and out…that makes your message, spoken or implied, more appeasing to your audience.

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  9. @ Lina Lee…seriously man! We do, as the human community, need to start being more neighborly and caring toward each other!!

    @ Kinetic…are you admitting you’re a skinny guy? I’m surprised lol

    @ Anonymous…thank you! I do aim to please! 😉

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  10. Gyms are to inflate egos just as much as they are to inflate muscles. Sure, working out can release endorphins that make things in life a bit more enjoyable, but this is reminding me to cancel my gym membership, one, cause I never go. And just use my electronic ab belt and the perfect push up!!!

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  11. @James
    You are SO right on that, I just never heard it phrased in that way. But really, do you actually use one of those electronic ab belt thingies? Seriously? LOL, I didn’t realize people still bought into those lies!

    @ D
    you’re welcome, always happy to show my love!

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  12. Beauty is an opinion,not fact.Funny thing is that so many people try to pass by on their looks because they have nothing else to offer.The POINT of a gym is to get in shape-NOT to show off like an idiot.Just because a big/skinny girl/guy goes to the gym,doens’t give people the right to be rude at all.They are there to be healthy,not wasting their lives living on the couch.And believe it or not,some people are very nice at gyms.Every gym I’ve gone to I’ve met nice people.My boyfriend even caught a couple of guys checking me out while i was working out on a leg machine.(I did 20 reps on the highest weight they had WOOT!) So EAT THAT haters! :p

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    • LOL you go girl!! Honestly, I have had the experience of being at the “beautiful people” gyms and at the “for everyone” gym, and I must admit, the for everyone gym, IMO, is the FAR better choice! People who are focused on getting healthy and feeling better are far more motivational than the vain and egotistical who are busy doing curls while staring lovingly at their bulging flexing bicep lol

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  13. umm…funny pic on fat girls cant fit in but its still the meanest thing! i mean,big girls cand hang out with the scrawny toothpicks and little twigs!!! i hate people who discrimanate big people! im not big im 5 pounds over obese,but i still hate those scrawny dumb tramps!!!!!! i thank you for reading and i hopee u have a gr8 day

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    • You should really ready another of my posts anonymous. It’s called The fallacy of jealousy https://classicruby.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/the-fallacy-of-jealousy/ . See the problem is, what you just said there is reverse discrimination, and two wrongs don’t make a right. I’ve been 220 pounds, and I am now 125. And at neither extreme did I hate on anyone for their weight, directly. I don’t care if someone is a skinny douche, or a fat douche, or black bitch, or a white bitch…a douche is a douche, and a bitch is a bitch. Just as others do not have the right to hate on you just because you are obese, you don’t have the right to hate on others just because they are skinny. Nobody knows someone else’s story, unless you know them deeply and personally. It sounds to me like maybe you aren’t happy with where you are now, otherwise you wouldn’t feel the need to respond with such disdain toward a group of people: Its one thing to hate those who discriminate, its another to hate those who are skinny (perhaps who are what you wanna be?)

      As long as you are happy with you, and I mean really happy, then who really cares what anyone else says? But if you aren’t, then do something to change you. Don’t rot in misery, and envy and jealousy, I’ve seen those emotions destroy and take away so much from so many people. Do whatever you need to do to get there, but focus on you, and loving you, above all else.

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