You know what I’m talking about here: two lovebirds are cooing sweet nothings to each other over the phone, pining away so unabashedly that to be an observer to the scene is painfully embarassing. And you can’t figure out who should be more embarassed: your friend for being caught acting like such a goof, or you, for appearing in public with them ever again not knowing which faces in the crowd know what kind of love-sick freak your friend has morphed into. After your tenth not-so-subtle suggestion that your friend get off the phone because you’re now running half an hour late because of this idiotic conversation they refuse to end, their glazed-over eyes finally begin to clear slightly. Looking at you almost in shock as though realizing for the first time that there’s someone else in the room, they acknowledge you, glance at the time, and then give you the “one-minute” finger before telling lover-muffin, in that same gag-worthy tone of voice that they have to go.
After 10 more minutes of quick conversation *insert eye roll here* they finally seem on the brink of ending the phone call. Your friend finally coos “Ok baby. I love you!”, pauses for a few minutes, and then giggles a bit and then says “OK, I’ll call you in a bit….ok…ok…I’ll miss you too…no, I’ll miss YOU more…no, I’ll miss YOU more…” At this point, your patience has beyond worn thin, and you start vocally objecting to the continuation of this inane conversation. You have THINGS TO DO and you did NOT get here on time to get THERE an hour late over some soppy conversation that could well happen once your friend is back at home and you’re not stuck waiting for them. OK. FINALLY, the back and forth seems to be dying down, your friend actually tells Buttercup Lover that you’re getting antsy and that you guys have got to get going now before you start beating them with random blunt objects. YES! You can finally get going! You head to the door, pulling the keys out of your jacket pocket, and mentally figuring out how you want to start up talking about that situation you’ve been dying to share with your currently love-kidnapped friend. You turn around to start chatting…and they’re nowhere to be found. You return back to the room you just left to hear “No, YOOUU hang up first!…No, YOOOUUUU Hang up first!…Well, I’m not hanging up until YOU hang up!”.
OK. So, normally you’re a relatively respectful person, but screw this shit, neither of them wanna hang up first?!! No problem, cause you have ZERO issues hanging up first. Rather suddenly, your hand shoots out, snatches the phone from your friend, you’re putting the receiver up to your ear to mutter “Hi…and bye…gotta go, he/she will call you later!” and the phone is hung up. Your friend gives you the evil eye, muttering something along the lines of “dude, I was just about to hang up!” while you very cheerfully ignore their sullen demeanor and begin marching back to the door.
OK, so maybe you’ve never been either the mush-ball or the annoyed person in this situation, but I can tell you I most certainly been both, several times. But why does this happen? Why do we find it impossible to be the person who “hangs up first”? Why can’t we just let the other person miss us as much as we miss them? Why do we feel the need to continually up the ante? Is it some unwritten rule, like if you DON’T refuse for 10 minutes to be the one to hang up first that you don’t really care/love/cherish your SO? (more so in the beginning stages of a relationship, of course. By the time you’re at the one-year mark you’re most likely over this kind of BS and focusing on more realistic things, like showing you love each other by thoughtfully shooting your SO a text wishing them good luck on an upcoming meeting or reminding them of their dentist appointment later that day).
Now, I must admit that I don’t only do this with my boyfriends. OK, I don’t do the moosh-ball crap with the back and forth and lovey-dovey tone of voice. But I have this thing. I just can’t hang up first. Unless I’m pissed at you or in a serious hurry, I’ll wait until I hear the phone hit the cradle or until the line disconnects. Why? Well, other than the fact that everybody has quirks and things that make them, well, odd, I gotta blame my Daddy for this one. As a child, I would always be the first one to hang up. But as I got older, I noticed it was a trend: my Dad would never hang up first. Never. One day I began to start challenging him on it…all to no avail. He wouldn’t say anything other than “No. You hang up. I have all day”, but he was serious. No matter what was happening, he would NEVER give me the satisfaction of being the one to hang up first. For me, it was a challenge to win. I suspect that it was a more meaningful thing for him. I have, in fact, asked him about this now that I’m an adult. As usual, I get an obscure and relatively useless answer that is no more enlightening than an unlit candle in a blackout.
No matter, I learned early on in life that if I was gonna get a straight answer it would never be from my Daddy. I’ve learned to accept these answers and move on in life, and have even been able to keep my sulking about it down to a minimum. But, back to the subject at hand, I don’t think my Daddy is the only one to blame on this one. I think maybe it has something to do with me not cutting the communication lines down before somebody has a chance to say something to me that came to them last minute. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to say “I love you” or “I miss you” or “oh, thanks so much for _____” but found I was talking to a dial tone. And then I figure it would be crazy for me to call back right away, and its not all that important so it can wait until later. And then later never comes. And then when its waayy beyond the point of being able to reasonably bring it up again I feel guilty that I didn’t get that little message in there. So I don’t want to take that opportunity away from anyone else.
It may also be something about sounding to eager to get off the phone with people. Not that I think anyone ACTUALLY gives a damn, but for some reason I feel like if I just hang up the phone you’ll think I’ve been just dying to get out of this conversation and am SO happy you said bye so I can finally go about my business. I think this all relates back to my extreme people pleasing obsession. Hmmmm…. I’ve really gotta get that in check! lol.
So, there was your little piece of blogging randomness this Friday! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! And Happy Mother’s Day to you and yours. Everybody with a Mama, you better make sure you show her the appreciation she deserves! I know I’m gonna!
As I was looking for media to insert I stumbled upon this song…I have NEVER heard of the artist, OR the song for that matter (which probably was a sad thing to admit since it probably illustrates just how cool I’m not) but it wasn’t bad, if generic. But it relates, so enjoy! If you’ve heard of it, please, PLEASE tell me when and where this song was popular :-p Thanks 😉