Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

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I’ve been thinking to myself that perhaps I would have more patience for the ignorant idiots who work at Tim Hortons, for example, and other random strangers, if I cut out the amount of bullshit that I end up having to deal with on a day to day basis from my inner circle. Anybody who is a friend or family member of mine can attest to the fact that I go above and beyond for the people I care about, and will do anything you need, if you really need it, even if it is at my own expense. I don’t have this selfless attitude because I expect anything in return from anybody. To be honest, I’m always there, and always willing to help, because I know what it feels like to have nobody who really cares about you, and nobody to turn to yourself. I never want anybody I care about to ever feel that way if there’s something I can do to make sure that they don’t.

And I ask for very little in return, if ever, because to be frank, I really don’t need to. I do better dealing with, and working through, my problems personally in my own head, I don’t like other people’s input, especially when the wounds are fresh, and I’m absolutely terrible at sharing my (more…)

Azmarie collage

Oddly, I think she’s absolutely GORGEOUS…but ONLY when she’s not all made up like a girl. To me, her androgynous/boyish look is strikingly beautiful.

I found the woman who I was meant to spend my life with: well, the one I was meant to spend my life with in an parallel universe where I’m a lesbian or, at the very least, bisexual. Actually, ever since I first saw Azmarie Livingston on America’s Next Top Model, I kinda wished that my sexuality was a choice: I would totally choose to be a lesbian for this chick. It’s not some desire to sleep with her, by the way, although I do think she’s absolutely stunning. It’s actually a desire to be with her. Generally, I have always found the female form, and faces, more aesthetically pleasing. However, although I can admire truly gorgeous or beautiful women, I never feel any form of sexual attraction to them. Now that being said, I honestly don’t on-sight feel any sexual attraction to men, either. However, it’s not like I’m asexual and I NEVER feel sexual attraction, either. I know, I know – I’m a weirdo – I’ve always felt like either I’m a complete freak, or like everyone else is lying: how could you, by looking at someone alone, get all hot and bothered?? (more…)

I was reading an article on XO Jane where a woman explores all of the feelings she had while dating a single dad..feelings which led to her ending the relationship, and realizing that she was not cut out for stepmother status just yet. Amongst them were profound feelings of hurt and jealousy, knowing that she would always come second to someone else in his heart. Not that there’s something inherently wrong with putting your child as the number one priority over anything and everyone else in the world: in fact, in her own words, she said:

I hate to admit that I was jealous of a three year old. Even writing it now I feel ashamed. After all, he’s three and I’m old enough to know better. Sadly, Dan was in a no-win on this one because if his attention had NOT been on his baby when we were together, I would have considered him a negligent parent not worth seeing and walked on the spot.” (more…)

Dear: White Mothers With Half Black Children,

Gorgeous Braid Up Ain't I prettyI have a beef with some of y’all, and I think it’s high time that I actually address this on my blog. Now, I would like to preface this post by saying I am well aware of the fact that this applies to some black mothers as well, and that it does not apply to ALL white mother’s with half-black children. In fact, although I may have been able to say it a couple decades ago, now I wouldn’t even say that this could apply to the MAJORITY. With the advent of the internet and youtube, and I’m guessing people becoming more educated either before or after giving birth to their biracial children, I actually don’t see some of these things half as often as I used to. Which makes the white mom’s who are still lost and confused stand out like a sore thumb. No more is ignorance an excuse. It’s time to wise up and recognize this basic fact:

Your Kid Running Around With Her Hair A Mess Cuz You Refuse to Learn How to Do it is Sad And Despicable (more…)
Mom and i

My beautiful mother. Happy Birthday mom!

Is there any way we can ever appreciate our Mother’s enough? We’ve taken our Mother’s love for granted how many times, as though she somehow owes it to us and therefore we have no logical reason to be grateful. Living in that “that could never happen to me” bubble that North American children so often live in until it happens to them, we write off instances of abuse, neglect, and abandonment as somehow ‘other’ to our own possible existence. Never realizing that it’s specifically our luck, our divine shower of blessing that has graced us with a Mother’s love who was so limitless, so unconditional, that we couldn’t even fathom the possibility of it somehow not being there. As to death and dying…we never really consider it, do we? That’s not a ‘now’ thing, that’s an eventuality, sometime so far in our distance futures that there’s absolutely no need to appreciate that unique and precious Mother-love that we are receiving- we’ve got time for appreciation later.

I can’t say that my relationship with my Mother has been a perfect, blissful one. Having a teen Mom means you get certain advantages, and disadvantages, over and under those who had parents that were planted firmly somewhere in (more…)

source: dumbpeopleannoyme.blogspot.com

This Valentine’s Day, I think rather than focusing on the things that can make love between the races/cultures different, we should focus on some universal questions that we should all be asking ourselves when we’re evaluating either our relationships this V-Day and celebrating/lamenting our love (lost), or figuring out exactly how to prevent our lack of a significant other cloud our judgment to the point where perhaps we end up doing something we regret.

But really, what is love? Let’s pretend that Valentine’s Day isn’t some bastardized commercially driven holiday. Let’s pretend it’s really all about love. At what point in your life, in your relationships development do you think that you’ve actually attained the kind of love that on some level we all hold up as the standard of perfection? Should it be based on things like extreme actions that you’d be willing to (more…)

Source: blogs.indiewire.com

“I don’t date black girls”. Good to know, I think, as I close my eyes. So I can roll them without him knowing. No need to actually make this tipsy conversation outside of the bar any more awkward than it needs to be. After all, I know exactly what’s coming next, and considering I met this guy all of thirty minutes ago when he asked me for a light, and while we’ve politely chatted about the recent smoking room ban in bars and strip joints, we haven’t gotten to anything so deep and meaningful as a name exchange. Oh, yeah, and my boyfriend is just inside, which he’s well aware of. Since, just after part one of our 30 minute smoking-alarmist discussion, he asked me if I was dating the black guy, who just so happens to be the only black dude, and the only other black person, in the bar. And who also happens to be on the other side of the room from where I’d been standing with my boyfriend while carrying on some vapid conversation on music or some crap that I usually lose interest in after about 35 seconds. Oh yeah, and did I mention that the black dude is a complete stranger I hadn’t even noticed, let alone spoken a (more…)

Hey y’all,

So, I think I’ve come up with a MAJOR way to help race relations in North America. In research, Regression To The Mean means that eventually, the more tests you do, you’ll find your results will tend to be closer to average than to any extreme. After you’ve read this post, and watched the videos, I’ll explain how this concept could help society, as a whole.

Spoken Word, for me, is the only true way of bringing written words to life. The words, alone, are animated and embodied by the poet, and the experience is the same as being sucked solely through (more…)

I’ve been getting some emails, as well as being asked by some friends, about cheating concerns… rather than rewrite about topics I’ve already covered, I figured reintroducing you all to my three part series on cheating and relationships might be just the thing to do in this situation. So enjoy y’all, I hope for those of you with questions it’ll help give your situation some clarity. For some of your more specific questions that aren’t answered by this series, stay tuned for the follow up… part 4 of this series coming soon to a Classic Ruby post near you!

Classic Ruby: Unadulterated

So, you’re in a great relationship. Your mate treats you very well, you get along great and share everything with each other, have passed that 3 year mark and are even talking about moving in with one another/getting married/having kids/__________(insert taking it to the next level example here), and then BAM!, without warning you find that your mate is spending more and more time online chatting, spending more time with a friend or co-worker, or arranging to see that play they really were dying to see with someone special-with someone else. You, being the fully secure, rational human being

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So. I was gonna do a deep and meaningful Slam Sundays. I really, truly was. But I just love this chicks style so very, very much. I was beyond entertained, and I think we all deserve to catch a message and a chuckle. That, and I’ve come down with the flu and feel like death on wheels. Soooooo I’ll save that whole deep and meaningful theme for next week and instead throw some “just because they’re entertaining as hell” poetry slams your way. So check it out y’all, and enjoy!

See? Tell me you didn’t laugh, at least twice. Ok, so the next one, was funny and yet awesome, in the fact that it’s actually social commentary on a whole different type of “ism”. Hmmmm, what could I call it? (more…)