I suggest before reading this post that you press play on the video, and let the speakers fill your mind with the stream of consciousness music that I had playing in the background while writing these contemplations. Take it slow, relax, let it all in: the vibe from the music, and not just the words but the messages embedded within. Let each thought, each memory, each piece of imagery take you to another place, in another time…if only for the few minutes it takes you to read it. I’m taking Classic Contemplations to a whole new level…it is meant to arouse all of your senses. Let it in. I hope it’s an uplifting experience for you. It was for me.
I was young once. Heady in my own ignorance, thinking I understood the world long before I truly knew anything about it. It hurts me now to think back to that young child, so naive, so full of hope and promise. Never did she ever expect life to turn out the way it did. Never did she think that the world was such a cruel and cold place: so full of pain and suffering, hurt feelings, disappointments, ignorance. People weren’t going to set out to improve her life, or to help better the world for her and for the rest of mankind: everyone was just out to try get theirs, and f*** those trampled in their wake of destruction. My eyes well with tears now, thinking about that child. Knowing there is no way I could ever regain that mind set, that set of values, that set of opinions. Not entirely. Never entirely. No matter what values, beliefs, morals and way of life I have tried to maintain I can never regain the one thing that mattered to that little girl, though she never had any idea she still possessed it. Had thought that long ago, along with her toys, and her days of being bra-free or without the monthly curse, had already been taken from her. Innocence.
I could cry for the loss of innocence. Because, with the loss of innocence many people are lost. Many people allow the loss of innocence, such a huge thing, and yet one of those inevitable things in life that will occur, that we will never have any control over, rob them of anything within them that was good. That defined their character as righteous. You watch your older cousin get gunned down in the street, that doesn’t mean you need to turn into a teenage gangster and have more kills under your belt than some mafia members before you’re old enough to drive. Nobody can give you back your cousin, or the innocence lost: but when you choose to throw away your Morality, the thing that keeps your heart and soul pure- if scarred, that is where the true tragedy lies. When a bitter little girl who is beat by her mom, shunned by the kids at school, and is dying for a Daddy to wrap his arms around her and tell her that she is beautiful and perfect and loved just the way she is, finds she feels lost and desolate and alone, it is truly sad, truly heartbreaking. When she decides that she no longer needs to protect her virtue and begins giving her body away to any man that suggests it, this is where my heart bleeds for her, because she too just threw away a piece of the only thing she could control in her life: Her Morality.
When you openly mock some poor person just because they are dressed differently, or because you’ve heard some juicy rumours about them, don’t get it twisted: you’ve just thrown away your Decency. When you judge the homeless person on the street and assume they’re an alcoholic; judge the alcoholic by assuming their a worthless piece of crap who wanted an excuse out of life; whenever you point fingers at another and spend more time contemplating the faults of others and judging them, remember that you ain’t a damn thing worth judging anyone or anything else..and as soon as you jump into this habit you have thrown away your ability to be Just. And don’t we all scream and shout for justice? SMH. But we never see how unjustly we treat those around us, often because we are too consumed with ourselves, our problems, our lives.
It makes my heart cry to know how many of these natural laws I have personally violated, and there are more – much, much more. Losing my innocence was hard. Knowing I chose to throw away my sensibilites, the things that truly bring value to my life, to my soul, is crushing. All I know is, I still have a choice. Everybody does. You can’t erase the past. You can’t change the decisions you have made, and you can’t erase the stain on your heart, on your character, and on your soul that these decisions, these mindless acts you’ve engaged in have made. But you can change the future. You can’t regain a thing:but you can choose not to lose more. You can choose not to make the same mistakes again. You can choose to live your life in such a way that it’s uplifting to yourself and to those around you.
Life is too short to continue throwing it away because that’s what we’ve done in the past.
I am choosing life. And I am choosing to be conscious from this day forth.
Although this contemplation was deeper than regular Classic Ruby material, I hope you enjoyed it. There are many dimensions to each individual, and this contemplative, reflective dimension is one of mine. Hopefully you found it made you think, or was stimulating, at least to your ears (this song is phenomenal..RIP Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopez). Please let me know your thoughts. Did you agree with any of my musings, or disagree? Did you like the style of this post? Any feedback, as usual, will be greatly appreciated.
And there’s a piece of consciousness for your Hump-Day