I am ashamed to say I am a member of the “me me me” generation. In all fairness, it’s not our fault. Between fallacious promises like “if you get a college education you’ll be living large”, to our parents trying to provide us a life and opportunities they weren’t afforded (often at the cost of teaching us independence, discipline, and/or the diligence to put our asses to the grind and do what needs to be done to succeed – because, quite frankly, few people work quite that hard when they don’t feel any need to), my generation has gotten a raw deal in the field of learning how to be grown ass men/women.

Instead, what I’m seeing more and more of is what I like to refer to as grown ass babies.

Grown Ass Baby Syndrome: Includes several of the following traits:

1. Living at home with ones parents, with no goal or desire or plan of any sort to move out of said parent(s) home any time in the near or even far future
• And yet complain that your parents try to treat you like a child, try to give you curfews, or are “holding you down”
• These complaints are normally made very shortly after they’ve recently borrowed money from said parents for the umpteenth time, accumulating an enormous debt which they have no actual plan to pay back
• Also, these people would starve to death and would stink to high heaven without their parents, as they do no cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, or laundry of their own
• furthermore, they have the nerve to scoff or bitch or moan how they’ve run out of toilet paper cause Mom didn’t buy them any, but ‘will show her by not wiping their asses til she does…trying to get those shit stains out of their underwear will show her who’s boss!’
2. Are always complaining that they do not make enough money, get enough respect, or about to make some “big movements” in life and “show the man” who big dog on campus is.
• These assertions are being made, of course, by the dude/dudette who never shows up to work on time, often calls in ‘sick’ or comes in hung over, never makes any actual effort to advance, and never does anything to get said recognition or respect
• On top of the fact that they’re so obviously lazy and undisciplined that you’ve heard the same ol lines for a decade now, and yet they’re still working the same dead end, minimum wage job
• Suggestions of going through the proper motions and channels to get these things are met with scorn and scoffing, telling you that you’re ‘brainwashed and weak’ for making 6 figures if you have to be ‘the man’s’ bitch to do it.
• Being the man’s bitch, in their context, means going to bed at a reasonable time so you can make it to work on time, following dress codes and other work guidelines, and going above and beyond in your current position to actually earn those raises and that paycheck
3. Outright and absolute REFUSAL to accept any responsibility for anything that goes wrong in ones life. It’s always someone else’s fault, and the whole world should always feel sorry for you. Or should be understanding as to why its not your fault. No matter how obviously and idiotically you’ve messed things up. It’s not your fault. Period.

I’d like to point out at this point, only one of these traits and maybe you just have some adjustment issues, or growing up to do. It’s when you combine all three of these factors, and their details, together, that you’ve found your grown ass baby. Not a grown ass child mind you. That’s an entirely different breed altogether. And quite frankly, not a cute breed either. But it’s the babies I’m starting up some beef with today.

I’ve encountered far too many people lately who are doing shit-all with their lives, are personally destroying their own lives and livelihoods, and are using either pathetic cop outs or are outrightly saying it’s anyone’s fault but their own. Grown ass people who honestly throw tantrums and get mad that their parents won’t give them money to go to that concert, even though they are getting room and board for free, and are refusing to get a job because they don’t wanna be “just another lamb” going to the slaughterhouse. *rolls eyes*.

The difference between grown ass children and grown ass babies, is that children want some freedom and independence, and are trying to find themselves…even if they consistently need to be cleaned up after and require a shit load of help along the way. Grown ass babies have no such interest in trying to assert themselves or gain independence, or ever become real live adults. They’re perfectly content to bitch and cry and moan and pretend the whole world is unfair when they’re not being handed everything on a platter, while relying on someone to provide them all they require to live…and THRIVE in life…and feel no way, no shame, about the way they’re living.

You know I’ve been pissed in the past about people who refuse to take accountability for their actions, who play the victim and expect the world to cry for them. But I’m finally seeing that this is far more than just a problem of a bunch of bitchassness prone people…its a generation of kids who grew up believing the world would always baby them and give them things easy if only they did a few things, and then rebelled and regressed right back into the womb when they realized that wasn’t the case.

*shakes head sadly* I am sad to say that not only am I a part of this generation, but that I have fallen on occasion or two, to being a grown ass baby. Yes, I happen to get over it in a few days, a month max…but it doesn’t matter, one day of grown ass baby is far too long. I wonder if there’s some kind of repellent I could wear. You think? Seriously…attitude, outlook, belief, behaviour…they’re all contagious, and they’re all controllable factors. As sad as it is to say this, when you find one of your people’s has morphed into a grown ass baby, there’s only two things you can do

1. Try and show them the error of their ways, and provide ways in which in the past they weren’t being snivelling little cry babies
2. Try and shame them into change by laughing them into a hole, calling them out and making it known and clear to the whole entire world that their jig is up, and the grown ass baby thing is just not cute