Author: Classic Ruby

Thoughtful, honest, and open-minded. Willing to “go there” just so I can have the experience…and I have no problem sharing those experiences with you. Some may call me a bitch– the fact is, I can sometimes be what others term as “too honest for my own good”. If my unwillingness to sugarcoat the truth, if your ability to take my word at what it is without having to add a grain of salt, makes me a bitch, I say more power to me. This corrupted, lying, guile-filled society could use a bit more of my brand of “bitchiness”.

Slam Sundays: On Knowledge

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Source: http://joyb.blogspot.ca/

Since March 16 is national Freedom of Information day, I thought it fitting to focus today on knowledge. After all, why is it that we demand a right to remain informed, why reporters consistently fight for the public’s right to remain informed on the current issues affecting our country? We don’t want to “find things out” like a flighty, gossipy child does just so we can go “would you look at that!”, and then promptly forget it. We demand to be kept informed because knowledge is power. If we choose to ignore or dismiss the available information, at least we’ve been presented with the option to do so, rather than to be kept in the dark as God-knows-what happens behind closed doors and behind our backs… We prefer to know the knife is on its way toward our back, don’t we? Gives you a fighting chance of dodging, fighting it off, trying to outrun it, or maybe say a quick prayer.

Before we can ever get to the point where we begin to make our decisions based on all the available data, before we evaluate the data we have at hand and judge it to be insufficient to make an educated move and so demand (more…)

The Alternative Sexuality In YOU

Azmarie collage
Oddly, I think she’s absolutely GORGEOUS…but ONLY when she’s not all made up like a girl. To me, her androgynous/boyish look is strikingly beautiful.

I found the woman who I was meant to spend my life with: well, the one I was meant to spend my life with in an parallel universe where I’m a lesbian or, at the very least, bisexual. Actually, ever since I first saw Azmarie Livingston on America’s Next Top Model, I kinda wished that my sexuality was a choice: I would totally choose to be a lesbian for this chick. It’s not some desire to sleep with her, by the way, although I do think she’s absolutely stunning. It’s actually a desire to be with her. Generally, I have always found the female form, and faces, more aesthetically pleasing. However, although I can admire truly gorgeous or beautiful women, I never feel any form of sexual attraction to them. Now that being said, I honestly don’t on-sight feel any sexual attraction to men, either. However, it’s not like I’m asexual and I NEVER feel sexual attraction, either. I know, I know – I’m a weirdo – I’ve always felt like either I’m a complete freak, or like everyone else is lying: how could you, by looking at someone alone, get all hot and bothered?? (more…)

Slam Sundays: Yellow Rage (P.S. They Don’t Mean the Color)

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It’s funny how ethnocentric our views can be. Even when we think we are accepting and welcoming and respecting of all people, no matter their creed, race, or religion, sometimes can can inadvertently be so ignorant it’s astounding. Now, I know that I’ve mentioned this form of prejudicial obstinate attitude before, like when I told you all about the story of the pick up line that goes a little something like “I don’t date black girls, but I would TOTALLY sleep with you“. Then again, I’m well aware of when that kind of attitude is being directed at me, or people I have something in common with (based on race, religion, gender, etc.). Like most of the world though, I often remain blissfully ignorant of my ignorance until something like the following Slam Poetry video crosses my path.

Now, this one is pretty hilarious, and it’s meant to be. However,

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A Child Or Your Husband: Who Lives and Who Dies?

source: www.todaysparent.com
source: http://www.todaysparent.com

I was reading an article on XO Jane where a woman explores all of the feelings she had while dating a single dad..feelings which led to her ending the relationship, and realizing that she was not cut out for stepmother status just yet. Amongst them were profound feelings of hurt and jealousy, knowing that she would always come second to someone else in his heart. Not that there’s something inherently wrong with putting your child as the number one priority over anything and everyone else in the world: in fact, in her own words, she said:

I hate to admit that I was jealous of a three year old. Even writing it now I feel ashamed. After all, he’s three and I’m old enough to know better. Sadly, Dan was in a no-win on this one because if his attention had NOT been on his baby when we were together, I would have considered him a negligent parent not worth seeing and walked on the spot.” (more…)

A Letter To White Moms With Biracial Kids

Dear: White Mothers With Half Black Children,

Gorgeous Braid Up Ain't I prettyI have a beef with some of y’all, and I think it’s high time that I actually address this on my blog. Now, I would like to preface this post by saying I am well aware of the fact that this applies to some black mothers as well, and that it does not apply to ALL white mother’s with half-black children. In fact, although I may have been able to say it a couple decades ago, now I wouldn’t even say that this could apply to the MAJORITY. With the advent of the internet and youtube, and I’m guessing people becoming more educated either before or after giving birth to their biracial children, I actually don’t see some of these things half as often as I used to. Which makes the white mom’s who are still lost and confused stand out like a sore thumb. No more is ignorance an excuse. It’s time to wise up and recognize this basic fact:

Your Kid Running Around With Her Hair A Mess Cuz You Refuse to Learn How to Do it is Sad And Despicable (more…)

Slam Sundays: Mother-Love

Mom and i
My beautiful mother. Happy Birthday mom!

Is there any way we can ever appreciate our Mother’s enough? We’ve taken our Mother’s love for granted how many times, as though she somehow owes it to us and therefore we have no logical reason to be grateful. Living in that “that could never happen to me” bubble that North American children so often live in until it happens to them, we write off instances of abuse, neglect, and abandonment as somehow ‘other’ to our own possible existence. Never realizing that it’s specifically our luck, our divine shower of blessing that has graced us with a Mother’s love who was so limitless, so unconditional, that we couldn’t even fathom the possibility of it somehow not being there. As to death and dying…we never really consider it, do we? That’s not a ‘now’ thing, that’s an eventuality, sometime so far in our distance futures that there’s absolutely no need to appreciate that unique and precious Mother-love that we are receiving- we’ve got time for appreciation later.

I can’t say that my relationship with my Mother has been a perfect, blissful one. Having a teen Mom means you get certain advantages, and disadvantages, over and under those who had parents that were planted firmly somewhere in (more…)

Black LGBT: the second-second-class citizens

Gay Pride Black Eye
Keeping an eye on your pride

I once wrote a post asking you all whether you fear unwittingly hooking up with men/women on the DL. To date, I’m pretty sure it’s the only post I’ve specifically written that deals with the LGBTQ community (correction: I also wrote a post on Ricky Martin way back when, before I actually launched Classic Ruby), and it’s high time that I do another one. And I think it’s especially important that I address social/cultural relations of the black LGBTQ community within the larger black social community as a whole. Something has gone terribly wrong in the equal advancement of black LGBTQ members. Somehow, being black and gay means that somehow you should not be afforded the same advancements in equality and equal rights that the rest of the black folk deserve.

While looking for some background info on this post, I came across an article that addressed my overall feelings about the treatment of the black LGBTQ’s within the larger black community. Check out the article yourself, titled (more…)