Author: Classic Ruby

Thoughtful, honest, and open-minded. Willing to “go there” just so I can have the experience…and I have no problem sharing those experiences with you. Some may call me a bitch– the fact is, I can sometimes be what others term as “too honest for my own good”. If my unwillingness to sugarcoat the truth, if your ability to take my word at what it is without having to add a grain of salt, makes me a bitch, I say more power to me. This corrupted, lying, guile-filled society could use a bit more of my brand of “bitchiness”.

Wut Up

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Yeah, gotta test out these themes as I’m about to transfer my blog over to wordpress officially. My current host is seriously pissing me off. They’ve had my blog down all damn day. That is NOT good for business (like I make a penny from my blog! LOL). Anyway, if you come across this post, bookmark my site, or save the address http://www.classicruby.com. As soon as my very unreliable host comes back online I’m transferring over to good ol reliable wordpress. Or, at least, so far that’s what I’m doing. I guess we’ll see. You know what? Just save http://www.classicruby.com. That’ll redirect you to wherever my blog is being hosted. Promise!

Cheers

LuLu Lemon Yoga Pants = Fatal Attraction

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They don’t look all that special, do they? I mean, honestly, for the outrageous astronomical price for one pair of stretchy yoga pants, you’d swear that there was gold weaved into the seams. Well, apparently, while there isn’t gold, there IS some metal. Seriously. The need for metal in yoga pants confuses me. Wouldn’t metal make you stiffer, less able to bend and move as required? Well, apparently not, as LuLu Lemon fans would tell you, they are absolutely the most comfortable stretchy pants on the face of the planet. As my sister once told me while clad in her royalty ready black yoga’s “It’s like you’re wearing nothing at all”. And while you all might be more familiar with that line from a Simpson’s episode where Homer exclaims “stupid sexy Flanders” (more…)

Slam Saturdays: Hope

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And who better to deliver this message of hope to us but the children: the hope of the future. I really needed a message of hope today, after my hospital stay delivered little, if any, of it. I hope it is as uplifting to you as it was to me.

Have a great weekend y’all!

Cheers

Slam Saturdays: On Sex

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https://classicruby.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/sex.jpg?w=232Hey y’all

I know I’ve been scarce this week, and I apologize. All the agonizing and preparing for my 5 day hospital stay starting this coming Monday has clearly been affecting me more than I thought it was, because boy has time flown! But neither rain, nor hail, nor personal catastrophe can get me to forget about my beloved Slam Saturdays. This weekend, I’ve got a special one lined up for you. Since we’ve been talking all about sex his past couple weeks, I thought I’d keep up the theme for Slam Saturdays. Now, I know you’ve already gotten a little dose of Spoken Word Sex from the gorgeous Laith’s Brain Sex, but here are a few more that I think will do this topic justice. Enjoy (more…)

The Misunderstanding: Part 2

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Finally, part two has arrived. Sorry for the week long delay, but I hope it ends up being well worth the wait! Enjoy! If you missed part one, you can catch it here.

The food court comes into view. In fact, I realize I’m a lot closer than I had noticed. Too close. I cant get the thoughts out of my mind. Forget the strip club. That wasn’t the biggest problem, the biggest lie, the biggest betrayal. I think about this for what seems an eternity, although I don’t seem to get much closer to the food court. I can’t, I suddenly realize. I cant let her know, Ive just got to stop. I’ll stop everything. If she gives me a chance, I’ll be true to her. I make the vow to myself silently, but I know I mean it.

At least I think I do. It’s hard to determine what thoughts cross your mind because you mean them, and what thoughts only occur to you because you’re (more…)

Slam Saturdays

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To take a break from all the sex sex sex (lol) I thought I would take a little return to some deep social commentary. Check this one out y’all, I promise it won’t disappoint!

Damn! Awesome, right?

All that contemplation has got me mad hungry! *skips off merrily to the bathroom to get all dolled up for a Red Lobster FEAST!!!*

Have a great weekend y’all

Cheers

Lets Talk About Sex: Partie Deux

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If you missed part one, you should definitely get caught up. Catch it here.

The first thing I did before even trying to initiate “the talk” with this teenager I would always see as about 7, was agonize for days. Sleepless nights, anxiety filled days, damn-near frantic conversations with anybody I thought could impart some helpful wisdom… I don’t know WHAT I was expecting, maybe some gentle, care-filled utterances and murmurs, some assurances that it wouldn’t be quite so difficult all I would have to do is __________ (insert perfect answer here), maybe even some sympathizers who totally understood my utter desolate lost confusion as to how to deal with this damn situation.  Instead, what I got were along the lines of the following few “helpful” reactions: (more…)

Lets Talk About Sex

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Seriously. And I don’t mean the hot and sweaty stuff, the fun, slipping and sliding side, the violent and traumatic and emotionally devastating stuff. I mean really, truly break it down.

What is sex, what are the basic good, the basic bad, the basic beauties and the basic dead ass uglies that come with that teeny tiny three letter word that packs more of a punch than any 12 letter word I can (more…)

Slam Saturdays: Innocent Criminal

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If you have a moment, take some time off of celebrating Canada Day and/or Independance Day and check this one out. It’s real, and it’s deep. Seriously. :-p (Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself). The title doesn’t actually simply speak for itself, this is one that’s gonna get deep into your mind, probably give you a bit of a mind f*** if you really, really think about it. (Not in the Mind Sex kind of way, but in that “changes your worldview” way.) Enjoy y’all

Happy Canada Day

Happy Independance Day

Happy Saturday

And have a wonderful weekend y’all!

Cheers

The Misunderstanding: Part 1

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That’s right guys and dolls, it’s time for another exhilirating Classic Ruby original short story…or at least the first part of one. I hope you enjoy this one! Let me know what you think guys….and here it goes!!!!

The Misunderstanding
A Classic Ruby Original

The noise in the mall begins to choke me, and for a moment I am tempted to turn around and leave. But there is already a small crowd forming behind me, and I can hear an impatient voice yell out hey buddy, get movin! which I know is directed at me. Tentatively, I take a few steps into the mall and almost collapse with relief when my existence doesnt immediately end, all the matter that composes my body continuously folding inward on itself until not even a speck remains. The sights and sounds assault my senses, but I propel myself into the masses anyway, feeling like a sheep being herded into the slaughterhouse surrounded by their fellow ignorant peers. I cant believe I’ve agreed to this, and I want to call it all off, say Ive come down with something, but the noise, the noise, the noise, shed hear it and then shed know I was lying.

Besides, Im already on my way, theres no turning back now. I begin to run through what Im going to say to her. Do I tell her Im sorry right away? Do I wait for her to ream me out? Do I justify myself, tell her that I want to go to counseling? My God, so many decisions so little time. I find myself in front of (more…)