Hot Roxxxy: Robotic Girlfriend a.k.a. Sex Doll

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blow_up_doll_twin
The 2K10 version has come a LOOONG way from this laughingstock!

Yes, it’s true. The Blow-Up Doll has just been brought into the 21st century. No, it’s not just that they have made a more “life-like” expression on it’s face, more human-like skin, or real human hair you can brain or flat iron! No, no, no, don’t be ridiculous folks. What they’ve done is ALL THOSE THINGS only they’ve SO taken things too far. This is no longer just a blow-up doll, it’s a “virtual girlfriend” that you can program to be whatever you want her to be (Robot Boyfriend apparently coming soon). You have GOT to see this video! (footage below) (more…)

Want a Worm in Your Brain? Eat Undercooked Pork

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Think it was a BIT too rare, buddy?
Think it was a BIT too rare, buddy?

Just a side note before this begins. I am tired of all of the nonsense I have heard about how Pork is some terrible thing for you to eat because pigs are _________________ (insert some fallacious reasoning here). Quite frankly, every animal is equally disgusting for us to eat if you think about it. They’re animals, not people. So they’re not going to have the clean living/eating practices that we do. If you shun eating pork for some religious reason, more power to you. I have all the respect in the world for people who can uphold spiritual rules and behaviours they believe in, because it takes a lot of faith and dedication. If you don’t eat pork because you don’t eat animals in general for some moral reason, although I don’t get you because I am a self-proclaimed meatatarian (if you have no idea what that is, check out the commercial below) (more…)

People of WalMart

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Yell at me all you want, but from my recollection, Rainbow Brite wasn’t that cool. Well, at least not cool enough to spawn all of these imitators. Michigan - editors note: Rainbow Brite was freakin' awesome, I so totally owned the doll, and it was the greatest thing ever. p.s. I was also under the age of 10. Just saying
Yell at me all you want, but from my recollection, Rainbow Brite wasn’t that cool. Well, at least not cool enough to spawn all of these imitators. Michigan - editors note: Rainbow Brite was freakin' awesome, I so totally owned the doll, and it was the greatest thing ever. p.s. I was also under the age of 10. Just saying

So to entertain my friend, I decided to (finally) check out this site. After my first couple glances at it, I wasn’t particularly impressed, which is funny because the general concept is exactly the same as YKYDAW only all of these gems are actually taken from within the walls of a Wal Mart store (or occasionally from the parking lot). While I have a very hard time believing that each and every picture was taken at a Wal-Mart (I mean, seriously, how would they honestly prove that EVERY SINGLE LAST PHOTO was taken at a Wal-Mart somewhere in the world?) I decided to approach this site with an open mind, and any assumptions I was going to make would be in favour (more…)

Where are the Salty Crackers?

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crackers-tshirtYes. I am being serious, and very literal. I remember as a child getting crackers, and the baked, crispy bread goodness combined with the oversalty goodness of chips had me in heaven. Experiencing alot of as of yet undiagnosed stomach issues, I spend quite a lot of my time eating crackers lately. And I want to know what happened to the salt? I mean sure, if you lick your lips after eating about 5 of them you get a little salt kick back. But whatever happened to the crackers that had each bite covered in some salty delight? (more…)

Drunk Beach Driving Gets the Green Light

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driving on the beach Pictures, Images and PhotosYesterday I was reading one of my old issues of Cosmo and I stumbled upon an article that was discussing how traveling to foreign countries can be much safer for tourists if they learn local customs. Which, of course, makes a lot of sense. I mean, obviously what’s socially acceptable here (for example, women wearing itsy-bitsy mini skirts with barely there halters) in North America may not fly (and can even be dangerous to one’s well-being, or illegal) in other parts of the world. As much as some things may just seem to be common sense to us (no, it’s never OK anywhere in the world to egg a cop car – especially if there is an officer sitting inside of it), in some cases it proves wiser (more…)

Happy 2010!!!

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2010-new-years-eveI just wanted to wish everyone a very happy 2010. I hope that this year brings you and yours all the love, joy, peace, success, and happiness that you all deserve (and even some that you don’t!). Hopefully everyone had a happy and safe New Years Eve celebration, as I can tell you that I most certainly did this year. And I have resolutions! Normally I just tell people I’ve made so and so resolution so they get off of my back about the idea. I get that each year is an opportunity, but January 1st doesn’t have to be the start of something good or new. Why is it that when I commit myself to starting a new life/regime in March that doesn’t count, but if I make some half assed attempt on January 1st to commit to some not very realistic or important “new years resolution” everyone pats me on the back. I must say at this point that North American’s are absolutely ridiculous when it comes to following pointless meaningless traditions and shunning anything new or original (more…)

Christmas Drunk

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woman_holding_glass_of_wineI hope everyone had a happy holiday season, and that Christmas brought them all the joy they were looking forward to. Mine certainly did. I’m not saying that everything went perfectly this Christmas, as when you ram a bunch of relative strangers together into a little space and tell them they have to get along, love each other, and be entirely interested in one another for hours on end there’s bound to be some sort of conflict. However, I decided this year that nobody was going to ruin my Christmas. Since I have so many jackasses in my family Since I have so many colourful characters in my family, so many shit-disturbing-loving loved ones, all who share the I-don’t-take-shit-from-nobody attitude, its only natural that the most beautiful, joyful time at some point or another will crumble into anarchy, if only temporarily. The problem is, normally I have an extremely hard time bouncing back. This year I decided that, no matter what jack-assery I encountered (more…)

Holiday Daze

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Hey y’all,

Lucky for me, my computer decided as an extra special Christmas present to me to just stop loading Windows. It gets all the way to the ‘Welcome’ screen and then tells me I need to verify my account registration (well, something like that). So when I say “sure, no problem” and click on the ‘verify’ button it tells me that my Windows is already registered (no shit, considering I have had it for 4 years now). Then it tells me to click ‘OK’ to close the account registration window, which I obediently do – so it can bring me back to the ‘Welcome’ screen and start the nonsense all over again.

Currently there does not seem to be any quick fix to this issue (and no, despite the ridiculousness, it is not a virus (like it was the last time – I have no luck when it comes to computers it seems).  and unfortunately, what with the holiday season in full force, my relentless habit of never starting my Christmas shopping until last minute even though I have 25 people to buy for (last minute actually means today this year – but in all fairness my OSAP only came in this morning – but that’s a whole other story I won’t bother ranting about at the moment), and my my lack of having a full time computer magician on call 24/7 who works for smiles and hugs, this issue has been ongoing since yesterday and may continue over the next few days.

I will be back to my regular posting schedule as of December 28th (next Monday) although “borrowed computer” permitting I may be able to get one in before Christmas. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you for your understanding. Check back as I will definitely update you of my technical difficulty progress.

Here’s to a great holiday season to each and every one

Cheers

(PS, I am patiently waiting for my chance to have unlimited access to my computer again so I can respond to Mike in my previous post…I’m loving the feedback y’all!)

Are You Scared of Men/Women on the DL?

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in-the-closetWhile reading comments on a post from The Imperfect Enjoyment blog (check out the link a little later on), I ran across some commentary that really struck a cord with me. I began responding to that little teeny tiny point in the commentary when I realized that what I was about to say was SO far off on some pretty much entirely unrelated tangent that if I were going to even somewhat address the actual post I would have to scratch my initial comment. But, after highlighting my text, I couldn’t quite force my finger to tap that ‘delete’ key. Instead, I copied my text before deleting it and pasted it in to notepad, just so I could remember the exact position I was coming from at a later time. Since it has been stewing in my brain for long enough, I felt it would be criminal if I didn’t address the issue while it is still fresh in my mind (as are the emotions). As I’m sure you can tell from the title, we’re about to delve into the shady world of the DL (more…)

Is It In Yet??? ("Down-There" Size And Space Issues)

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size-2Today, as I was re-reading one of my old Cosmo issues, I stumbled upon a “first time” blooper in which a girl is making out with her boyfriend of a few months whom she hadn’t yet had sex with when she decides she’s ready to go all the way. Lustily, she tells him that she’s ready. While that may have been music to many a man’s ear who had been waiting patiently for months for their girlfriend to be ready to get down and dirty, this man was not only unimpressed with her exclamation of readiness, he was downright crestfallen. Why? Maybe you can tell from his response to her, which was “I”m already in you. I have been for a while”. Oops!

This story is far from the first in Cosmo blooper history to recount such an experience. In fact, not only have I read this story several times to varying degrees in Cosmo, I’ve also heard the story from several of my friends over the years. And not just from women, either. I have guy friends tell me of encounters they get into where the woman they are with is so loose they often only know they are inside of her (more…)