Occassionally on Mondays it’s nice to hear about a nice, cute, inspirational thing that happened. I spoke with a friend of mine on MSN today after not having spoke with him in quite a while. In fact, the last time I had a conversation with him he told me that his wife was pregnant with their second child. So, of course, the first questions I had were “Sooo…your wife had the baby, right? Was it a boy or a girl? When was it born? What did you name it?” and eagerly hit ‘send’. The little ‘replying’ bubble popped up in the corner and I reread my response quickly to make sure that in my excitement I hadn’t accidentally sent off some gibberish which he was currently reading while staring at the screen quizzically, trying to decide whether to make a guess at what my message was or to just respond with a ‘what?’ so that way I would repeat what I said, hopefully more carefully and therefore clearly (more…)
Month: May 2010
Slam Saturdays: At 13
I stumbled upon this one today while actually looking for a completely different artist. Never heard of him before, never heard of the poem before, but all I could say while listening was “damn he’s good!”. I seriously got chills while listening to the man speak. I seriously took his words to heart, listened to the message within the message, let it get deep into my soul…and that was all before the end, when they explained the little details that finally made it come together for me: this was so honest, so pure, so real, and so deep. It was an experience for me. I hope it ends up being the same for you. (more…)
Show Some Love, Y'all!
Saggy Boobage is NEVER in Style – Please Spare Us the Horror
Maybe it’s just me, but the worst part of summer (other than the deluge of bugs and bees) and right up there with the underdressed and overskanky is women whose girls hang low. Not that I’m not sympathetic: what with inevitable post-baby droopage, age-induced loss of collagen, gravity’s mighty unbeatable pull, and the risks and sky-high cost of plastic surgery, it’s no wonder that the larger majority of women are simply putting up with their pair becoming less than perky as the years go by. And I also COMPLETELY understand that a good, supportive bra costs a pretty penny, as do ones that raise your girls to the teenage sky-high level they once were while adding a size or two and giving you the clevage of every man’s dreams. Not to mention the well-known fact that any bra (especially the cheapies) are anything but comfortable.
But all of that is NO excuse to wear skimpy, skeezy little tops sans-support letting your boobs sag to your belly button, bouncing and swaying in a rather nauseating way with each movement you make. And don’t give me that “I don’t have the right bra to wear with this top” excuse: Anybody would rather see your bra straps or band sticking out of your top than have to conciously avoid openly staring at your freak-show pancake breasts (more…)
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Dying Of Broken Heart Syndrome (literally)
Is there some truth to that old wives tale? You know, the one that goes something like this: ‘ Two soulmates can’t live without eachother. So when one dies, the other will very soon follow suit’. Normally, we hear about this with old married couples who have spent the past 40 years married and devoted to one another. Then one, tragically, comes down with some fatal illness or very suddenly passes away in some type of traumatic accident or even silently in their sleep from a stroke. The now widowed lover almost overnight loses all of their life and resilience, and seems to have joined the team of the walking dead. It’s like they no longer have any will to survive. And then, less than a year later, they just — give out. Without any prior history of heart disease they have a massive coronary and die. With otherwise healthy lungs they suddenly (more…)
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Laugh and Learn Baby, Laugh and Learn
Occassionally on a Monday, we’re just looking for SOME reason to smile…just…anything… *sigh* lol
This Monday is one of those special exceptions…LONG WEEKEND MONDAY!!! Hooray Canada and Queen Victoria! We thank you for being born and subsequently for your birthday becoming a holiday worth the government giving us all a free day off, or at the very least some shortened holiday hours (except for those who run convenience stores, drive cabs, and work in bars- sorry guys, but as we all know this has been dubbed “May 2-4” named after a 24 pack of beer, and as such there are some necessary conveniences that absolutely MUST be available as usual). ANYWHO, whether you’re stuck in one of those awful countries (or jobs) who don’t get to celebrate the magic that is May 2-4, or whether you get to hang out all day either hung over as shit or drinking your butt off, everyone can appreciate a laugh or five on a Monday (habit tells us that Mondays suck, no matter how awesome one turns out to be- it’s kinda like Friday the 13th…when it (more…)
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Slam Saturdays: Introduction
Hey Y’all! Welcome to my very first episode of Slam Saturdays! Because this is the very first one, ever, I decided to give you a brief explanation as to what to expect on these days. First off, with the exception of some brief explanations or maybe the occasional relating anecdote, Slam Saturdays are gonna have relatively little written opinion or direction from me. I’ve been in to Spoken Word poetry for about a decade now, and one thing I have always found is that another person’s explanation or introduction to the poem or poet often does it (or them) little to no justice. So I won’t even bother wasting your or my time with such things.
Secondly, I wanted you all to understand exactly why it is that I’m introducing this weekly feature to my blog. Unlike all the other features I have introduced (like Ruby Rants or Classic Contemplations, for example) this will actually be a feature you see each and every week, each and every Saturday. The reason? (more…)
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5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Drink And Drive This Weekend
Here’s the thing: before you read this post, I want you to understand I am not one of those preachy “don’t have a glass of wine and then drive or you’ll DIE” kinda people. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I think there are several factors that go in to whether or not someone is too intoxicated to drive. I mean, you have body weight, what you’re drinking, how long you’re drinking it for, and previous exposure. Now, don’t think that I’m saying just cause you’re used to drinking a keg all by your lonesome each night it means that eventually you’ll be able to do so and afterwards be sober enough to drive. However, if you regularly down a couple pitchers a few nights a week, after a few beers you’re probably not phased (or are-but barely). Now, if you NEVER drink at all, or very rarely like on special occasions only, you’re a lot more likely to be completely flat on your ass after pint #2. In conclusion (more…)
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White Men Can't Jump…buuut White Mommy's CAN Rhyme!!!
I have some awesome facebook friends… one’s who find the most deep, touching, meaningful and powerful quotes or sayings and make them their status, who daily post some mind-boggling brain teasers, who always gift the thing I always wanted in my Cafe, and who religiously go through all 600 of my new photos and make witty, complimentary and generally well thought out commentary on each of them (shut-up: you know that people on your list going through your photos and commenting makes you feel damn special too! :-p lol). I’ve got those friends who have their entire timelines either spammed with thousands of Farmville updates or random videos (like, seriously? How many favourite songs per day can you POSSIBLY have?) who seriously get on my nerves, and the one’s who TRY desperately to say something that will make them look deep and contemplative but have so many typos, grammatical errors and awful uses of the words there their and they’re that all I want to do is correct the damn thing like I’m their grade 9 English teacher (more…)
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Have You Ever Cussed Off Your Parents?
Ever been so mad you see red (literally)? Ever been so frustrated or angry that you feel that you’re about to explode, implode, or seriously cause some damage to anything or anyone within arms reach? Unless you’re one of those uber-calm people that I can’t stand (cause you make me look bad lol) you probably have, at least once. So you know what it is when you get to that point where your blood is boiling and you’re beyond helpless to control it: it’s damn near impossible to make your thoughts, words, feelings and actions all seem to be a fluent, coherent, respectful and personality-consistent entity rather than the ugly, evil-eyed, fire-breathing monster they become.
Curse words fly from your mouth without even a second thought as to who’s around you or what type of environment you’re in. Suddenly, morals and codes of ethics you have ardently upheld and preached are (more…)
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You Think YOUR Eyes Never Deceive You? Think Again!
Ok, seriously, this commercial pisses me off. For several reasons. First, because the first time I watched it I was only very barely casually watching. So when I realized the big HUGE black hole in my vision, I was dumbfounded. Seriously, I know all about the experiment that illustrates that this phenomenon actually occurs in real life situations, but seriously? Against an all white screen? I just HAD to see it again. But I didn’t wanna cheat. I was not going to find it on youtube prepare myself and then pause it at the exact moment where my perceptual black hole had missed the hippo. I wasn’t. I was going to see it on TV and I was going to catch it, and then I was gonna be all “OHHHHH!!! I see!!”.
The problem was, every damn time the stupid thing came on, I never really caught on it was the same commercial until the rabbit was already at the end of its first run and they were asking if we (more…)
Classic Ruby: Unadulterated 
