My Fault… I’m Female

Ever have the feeling that you’re apologizing for the gender you were born? Ever have the feeling that if only you were graced with a different gender then you’d be taken more seriously? Well don’t worry, you’re not alone. Not only can I tell you that, personally I have that feeling damn near every day, but millions of people worldwide do as well. And now there’s a blog that lets you vent your frustrations on being deemed just a “woman” as though it’s something you need to apologize about, as well as read other people’s accounts of their “My Fault, I’m Female, aka MFIF” stories. Check it out, at http://myfaultimfemale.wordpress.com/ Even if you’re of the male persuasion, I highly recommend you read some of these stories. If anything, you’ll realize that, even if you’re well enlightened and currently live in the 21st century where women are equals and anything you can do they can do just as well (hey, if not better :-p), there are many, MANY people who aren’t. And I’m not just talking about the clearly blatant male chauvinist, or the women who believe that any woman’s true place is in the kitchen. I’m talking about those instances in time when you realize gender stereotypes are much harder wired than we’d like to believe.

We all do it: A woman is in a bad mood, we blame it on PMS before even considering that perhaps her despair is over something that well warrants it. Even if we’re only joking, it’s still an attitude that tends to dismiss a woman’s thoughts and feelings as being not quite as valid as a man’s. Or the fact that most of us will still look at a woman who says she doesn’t want children as though she has just, right in front of our eyes, sprouted four heads that breathe fire. We deem it as unnatural, often write off her feelings as being temporary, or assume she’s been jilted. Or that she must be a stone cold bitch – after all, what woman DOESN’T want children, eventually, at some point in life?? The problem is, just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean it’s her duty to desire a child, and trust me, she’s not alone in wanting to remain childless. Many a man has said he doesn’t want children, and do we bat an eye at this? Never. But shouldn’t we think it’s equally wrong if a man doesn’t want children? After all, it takes two….unless you’re the Virgin Mary. In fact, given the fact that there are less men in this world to begin with, I think if we should be outraged that someone doesn’t want children, it should be at the men, not the women.

Yeah, don't lie...the title made you go "hmmmm..."

Society blames women for “asking for it” when they are sexually harassed or abused, because they had the nerve to want to be attractive, dress to impress, tease their hair, and vamp up their makeup. Poor women, like the one in one of my earlier posts (it’s a pretty good read, you should check it out. I was feeling…inflammatory… that day, lol) whose story I had read on NWSO– OK, I was against her completely in the post, but for completely different reasons. And you’ll like this one, men: I didn’t appreciate her “all men are____(insert derogatory commentary here)” attitude, or her assertion that never has a decent man ever hit on her ever (like seriously, she claims she’s THAT attractive that men fall all over themselves to proposition her, and she dresses like a nun and refuses to comb her hair for fear of attention and yet they still can’t get enough of her… and not even ONE of them was interested in more than banging her? Like, common buddy, if you have decided that every man means “I wanna f*** you” when they say “hello, how are you doing today?” then that’s what you’re gonna hear…just saying) – anyways, what was I saying?

Oh yeah, poor women like her, however, feel the need to literally dull themselves down, afraid to wear a cute little dress or curl her hair for fear of unwanted sexual attention. The sad thing is, many people’s responses to her were of the lines of “ummm, you’re a woman, and they’re men. What were you expecting?”…. Oh snap! It’s her fault, she’s female. She shouldn’t expect any better? She’s not allowed to decide not to have sex invade her life. Like, really?I don’t know, man. In this day and age, I let alot of these things slide. I hear them, I notice them, they irk me, and I let it slide anyway. There are some things that just aren’t worth fighting about, and some people and situations that just aren’t worth my time. But it gets bad when a doctor tells me that because I’m a woman, perhaps my natural proclivity towards an anxious personality and a fussy bowel means that there’s nothing wrong with me that just learning how to relax won’t fix, I start feeling pissy. And no, it’s nowhere near that time of the month.

I have this funny, funny feeling that if I were a man perhaps some of the jack ass doctors I have encountered in my search for an answer might have actually taken my violent pain more seriously (because apparently women are weaker and therefore are more likely to overreact to a sensation a man might just grin and bear. This concept apparently negates the possibility that I’m ACTUALLY in acute pain at times. Wow), and at every hospital visit I wouldn’t have gotten the question “are you SURE you’re not pregnant? Well when is your period? Are you SURE it’s not cramps?” like I haven’t had cramps for the past 14 years and therefore can’t tell the difference. Pfft!

I’m back on my “we need to stop classifying people based on their gender (or race or religion or whatever damn group we can lump them into) and start looking at people as individuals” tip. I haven’t forgotten about my outrage at this nonsense. Seriously I haven’t. I think what I’ve been doing is, for the sake of my sanity, letting the dumb asses and their moronic viewpoints slide through the cracks. But I think I’m done with that. And I have myfaultimfemale.wordpress.com to thank for reopening my eyes. Y’all did a good thing with this one. I wanna thank you ladies for taking a stand in this day and age when too many women let this crap slide cause it’s the easy thing to do. We as women shouldn’t have to apologize for our gender. And our gender shouldn’t have to be some defining point. Our character, personality, goals and dreams should be what are most important. And we should be celebrated. Not as women, but as people. Point blank. (I was gonna say period, but I thought that would have been a bit too tongue in cheek! :-p).

My fault, I’m female. I’m probably just overreacting….maybe it’s my time of the month?

You gotta check out this article... it's some fascinating stuff on gender stereotypes. I mean seriously, do you see something wrong with this question, in general? I'm just saying, would this question even be asked about a bunch of MEN in power? Come on now, son! http://whatwouldjackdo.net/2009/03/no-were-not-trading-in-sexismw.html

HMPF! We’ll see about that, suckas!

Happy Friday Y’all! And Happy Weekend too! For those of us in the Caribana swing this weekend, happy drinking and dancing in the streets in teeny-tiny costumes! LOL

Cheers

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4 Comments

  1. I checked out the site. Its pretty sad that things like this are still happening but sadly I’m not suprised. Some of those stories I could have written myself honestly.

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  2. Hey Ruby, I feel your pain. You see, there’s a stereotype going around in the male society that if you cry or show ANY emotion whatsoever, you are automatically a butthurt crybaby.. I just so happen to be emotionally sensitive to certain things like malicious yelling or bad events, so if I decide to let it out, then I’m automatically a spineless wuss with no “dignity”.

    Really? REALLY?! DIGNITY?! If I’m emotionally sensitive, then I’ll act however I want! I’ll be happy, I’ll cry if I need to, I’ll blow off some steam as well, probably at the people who support gender stereotypes, as to how Gotz of the Iron Fist crushed his enemies. I loved the article, and I wish there were more women such as yourself around.

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    1. Awwww…thank you! I was on a bit of a hiatus for a quite a while there, and actually this was my first post back in a looonnnngggg time. But reading your comment today reminded me of exactly why I really started this blog in the first place: to give my honest commentary on this world we live in, and on the things that are just taken for granted as being “socially acceptable” or not, and to challenge those things, as well as the idiot, ignorant, or antiquated nonsense that some people still have stuck in their heads. The important thing is to stand strong and be true to yourself, no matter what. Haters are gonna hate, and the ignorant and insecure are going to judge and whatnot so they can try desperately to feel better about themselves..at the end of the day, only you’ll be able to sleep well at night knowing out of you all, you are the one who lives your life in honesty, pride, and integrity, and you are the one who will be confident and proud and secure enough with yourself to be yourself, anashamedly. Thanks for commenting!

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