Author: Classic Ruby

Thoughtful, honest, and open-minded. Willing to “go there” just so I can have the experience…and I have no problem sharing those experiences with you. Some may call me a bitch– the fact is, I can sometimes be what others term as “too honest for my own good”. If my unwillingness to sugarcoat the truth, if your ability to take my word at what it is without having to add a grain of salt, makes me a bitch, I say more power to me. This corrupted, lying, guile-filled society could use a bit more of my brand of “bitchiness”.

Slam Saturdays: It Started With A Toothbrush

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I love this one, because it shows you that hell ya, Slam poetry has a very funny side as well. I’m not gonna even give y’all more than that, you’ll just have to check it out for yourselves. Enjoy!

Ahhhhh!!! Still laughing! But isn’t it so true? That momentary panic that sets it when you realize that ‘the two of you’ have morphed into the metaphorical ‘you’ that cannot exist without him/her so why even bother mentioning them….ever felt that? Lord knows I have. But once you settle in, you know that it ends up being soooo worth it!

Have a wonderful weekend y’all!

Cheers!

Pizza Pizza Sucks Donkey Bum…There, I Said It

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Today, Pizza Pizza really proved to me why I’ve always considered them to pizza as you would Rabba to a grocery store…it’s got the basics, but if you’re looking for something less than mild disappointment, you better go find yourself at your local Supermarket. In fact, if it wasn’t for their creamy garlic dipping sauce, I would probably just put Pizza Pizza on my list of things not to do (I’m allergic to eggs, and their dipping sauce happens to be the only garlic dipping sauce that doesn’t have my little death ingredient in it…*sigh*).  What I should have done to save stomach (nope, still have zero answers or relief concerning my stomach issues…yaayyy me!) and money and to have not been imaginarily kicking myself in the ass for 25 minutes while I sat on hold with customer service while they figured out how to do their job was to just order from Swiss Chalet. I don’t know WHAT my major malfunction was today, but I was dying for some (more…)

Bullshit: Reason #1 You Can't Believe Everything You Hear

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It’s rare that I’ll actually call something bullshit. But the following can only be described in such terms. What kind of lousy bullshit is this? And who in the hell educated these people? I understand, they are from Africa NOT from Mars under some rock (where I would assume that they had their fingers in their ears and their eyes shut tight). They have all the technology in the world, and all the reasoning skills we do… and yet… I mean, it’s one thing to just disagree with something, for you to personally think it’s morally wrong or whatever. But for someone to come with this load of propaganda and just…bullshit…and try and pass it off as truth…like, wow. Now, I have it here under the humor section for a reason, and that’s mainly because it’s funny as hell. No, honestly, if you watch this video with an uncritical eye, the outrageousness of the claims he makes, the actions, the commentary…it’s all hilarious, it’s all laughable. You’ll probably hate yourself as you find yourself laughing unabashedly at this video. But after you’re done laughing your ass off, remember that (more…)

The Honour System Fails

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As you are well aware of, Classic Ruby is one who promotes truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But that being said, please never mistake me as the type who is so naive and blinded by the truth and the “right path” that I’m unable to see the fallacy in most human behaviour. When it comes to lying, as I’m sure you’ve noticed in life (every day of it in fact), no matter how much more complex, difficult, or unpleasant it’ll make things, people tend to lie (not me) when they develop some assinine idea that in that instant it would make things better. And for that reason, boys and girls, in most successful and populated-with-the-importants businesses and areas security and other types of enforcement just won’t take your word for it that you’re not out to do harm. Seriously. I dare you: go to a lake and stand RIGHT NEXT TO a sign that says “don’t feed the ducks” while holding a half full bag of bread. Reach your hand into the bag, then turn to face the lake and the ducks but instead of feeding the birds, feed a piece to yourself. Make (more…)

Slam Saturdays: My Best Friend Hip-Hop

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I love when people put their own spin on Spoken Word poetry. Like this poem. Not only do they have a story, a theme, and a message, but they (yes, there’s two of them) have coordinated their thoughts and feelings in such a totally relevant play (sort of…well…you’ll see what I mean). This Slam Saturdays poem is on a topic that’s close to every true music lovers heart: on the death of one of the genres, the sudden awareness that not only did it die, but it’s been lost to you for some time. Like the loss of a dear friend whom you don’t see daily: you’re aware they’re no longer alive, but the first time it really hits you is when you pick up the phone to give them a shout to laugh (more…)

World Cup Rules Wives/Partners/Girlfriends etc. MUST Follow

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Sorry y’all, I had pre-scheduled the release of my blog posts at the beginning of the week, and apparently they didn’t go out. Since I didn’t have an opportunity to get on here and fix this little issue, you’ve been postless all week, and I’ve looked like the big bad meanie-poopie-head who just doesn’t care about your feelings. SO not true. I apologize profusely.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to today’s post (don’t worry, I’ll make sure you catch the glory of the other posts next week!). My hairdresser’s husband told her that there was something for her on the fridge. Not being a big sports fan, she knew that the World Cup was beginning very soon (more…)

Slam Saturdays: Poetic Asylum

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In the bible somewhere I believe it says that the youth shall lead us…or something like that. All I know is that in society the youth are not given the credit that they deserve on many levels. One thing is that they aren’t stupid: they notice just as much about the world around them as we do, and they care just as much that it’s going to hell in a handbasket. A young man is telling us to ‘open our eyes’ to what’s going on in our world today, try and stand for something, or we’re going to start falling for any and every thing. You gotta check this one out, it’s one of them (more…)

Why I Hate Tenants

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Why is your music so loud that I can hear it, word for word, in MY apartment? I’m just saying…I understand completely that some people like loud music. I do, really. But it’s completely unnecessary to have the shit blasting as loud as it could possibly go. Especially when you have someone living in the basement below you and your speakers are sitting directly on the floor (no matter how many times I’ve told you that they sell padding that’s pretty much dirt cheap that allows you to stop the noise from transferring so clearly into my apartment…or that you need to take your sound system off of the damn floor…forgive me, I digress). You don’t own the house and are doing me a favour by renting out the basement to me…it’s the other damn way around. You’d think that would mean that their asses would have been evicted long ago, since they don’t seem (more…)

Days Like This: Part 2

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For those of you who missed the first part last week you can check it out here. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna give a long preamble or anything since I know you’ve been just dying to get back up in it! 😉 I’ll start y’all off on the paragraph we left off on just as a wee refresher. Enjoy!

She saw blood in the middle of the room, unmistakable in its colour and consistency. Even from here. She looked frantically at her hands, her arms, her legs, her stomach. She felt around her back, but still nothing. She decided that it must have been her husbands. But why did he fly into a rage this time? That man could be so irrational when he was mad, flying off the handle, getting drunk and then trashing their home. They had had to move three times since John had lost his job, because the neighbours would complain and eventually theyd get evicted. God, sometimes she just couldnt stand him. There was a big difference between being in love with someone and simply loving them. She had never been in love with John, that she was sure of. And, although she is not sure (more…)

101 Dalmations (OK, this has NOTHING to do with dogs lol)

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Because this is my 101 post, and 101 reminds me of dalmations with their black and white spots, I decided this post would be as black and white as possible, and I would try and get damn near 101 somethings…I’ll tell you what 101 I made it to at the end of the day ;-).

I’m wondering this morning why it is that some people insist on making fools of themselves. I understand wanting to have all the attention on you, but when you just end up being the butt of everyone’s joke, the drunken slob who’s good to laugh AT not WITH…I don’t see how it’s possible that you’re able to wake up in the morning and respect yourself. Seriously. And I don’t feel bad for treating these people like the sideshow freaks that they’re so determined to act like…obviously they’re going way out of their way for attention, be it good or bad, and who am I to get in the way of them reaching their goal? (more…)