Ugh. The Sans-Opener part of the title is SOOOO pretentious, right? I know. But “without a” just seemed so long and blah. And I couldn’t think of another short, cute word that just said it all. So I went the pretentious route. So sue me. *tries to look indignant*…*hangs head in shame*.

ANYWAY…While surfing the web a few days ago, I happened upon a website called http://www.telegraph.co.uk/. It’s basically a sort of news blog/site that offers some less than traditional news. As I searched through the pages, I came across this video, and thought to myself MAN! Have I ever needed that video a time or three before! *wink wink – thinks fondly back to Wino Post* And since I STILL do not own a functional wine opener (well, I did. Then I lent it out to a friend…haven’t seen it since. And since she’s moved recently, it’s probably now gone forever. Sigh) I thought it was best that I save this video..just in case. And then I started thinking…I bet there’s all kinds of ways of opening wine…and beer…without an opener. And then the lightbulb…the weekend is fast approaching. My readers must like drinking, otherwise they’d never get through one of my posts! So then it’s really only the decent, neighborly thing for me to do…I must share my newfound wealth (hey now, knowledge is wealth) with you guys!! And now you’ll have something fun to videotape you trying while drunk that won’t have your special parts plastered across the internet. Have a shoe? Yeah, then you have all you need to open a bottle of wine!

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Wearing your heels? Well, here is the ultimate guide to opening a bottle of wine sans opener!

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Now this next one was my personal favorite. Because hey, lets be serious. I was never classy enough to be a lush. Wine was just far too high brow for me. Give me a good ol Budweiser anyday. And although my very first keychain for my very first car was a bottle opener (yeeahhhh…I know. I know) I found this invaluable, and am dying for the chance to try these out. And now ladies and gents, you’re about to learn: How to open a bottle of beer with.. ANYTHING.

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Ok and if you guys have some time, cause this last video is pretty long, I’d definitely check it out, or bookmark and check it out later. These guys have come up with 36 ways to open a bottle of beer, and some of them are pretty ingenious. I think this video makes me smile cause they aren’t smiling and being all cute for the camera. They’re just a bunch a beer-lovers who have decided to pass their talent for eliminating any obstacle between them and their beloved beer along to us.

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Try these out! If you’ve tried em before, let me know which ones work and which ones don’t…and if you haven’t, but you are GOING to try one, and the drunken debauchery that follows doesn’t erase your memory of this post, come back and tell me how it goes!

Now, y’all be good, and remember, no matter how much extra alcohol at home you get to have this weekend due to my fantastic tips, if you decide to set foot outside your house, do NOT drink and drive!

Have a fantastic weekend y’all! I know with the rough start this 2014, I’m really hoping I have one!

Cheers!