Category: Humour

THIS is Why We Find You Annoying

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source: itre.cis.upenn.edu You know what MY pet peeve here is? Comics without colour!! Black and white does NOT cut it...it screams "not finished yet!". Ugh
source: https://itre.cis.upenn.edu
You know what MY pet peeve here is? Comics without colour!! Black and white does NOT cut it…it screams “not finished yet!”. Ugh

It would take me a lifetime to truly explain to you EVERY pet peeve I have and why. I believe my Ruby Rants, combined with my general posts, probably give you some idea cuz, hey, nobody has EVER called me subtle before. If you browse through my posts though, basically anything I criticize, I criticize cause it gets on my LAST nerve, and I can’t bite my tongue on the issue anymore. Just an FYI in case y’all were wondering. But, I did think it would be fun if we did something a little different and did something mindless yet entertaining on a Thursday, while I still get to vent about exactly what things in life are annoying me at just this second. Cause really, inconsiderate people are high on my list of “bullseye” targets for rage at the moment. I’m really just not in the mood (The following video does have profanity, just so you know).

I actually started my YouTube search last weekend, looking for the perfect video to compliment Monday’s post on parasitic friends. Now, while I never did manage to find that perfect video, I did find the above one on inconsiderate people. As I said in Monday’s post, and have reiterated over countless others, inconsiderateness is like pet peeve numero uno for me. I really can’t take it. Suddenly, I had an idea…why not scour YouTube’s (more…)

Slam Sundays: Yellow Rage (P.S. They Don’t Mean the Color)

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It’s funny how ethnocentric our views can be. Even when we think we are accepting and welcoming and respecting of all people, no matter their creed, race, or religion, sometimes can can inadvertently be so ignorant it’s astounding. Now, I know that I’ve mentioned this form of prejudicial obstinate attitude before, like when I told you all about the story of the pick up line that goes a little something like “I don’t date black girls, but I would TOTALLY sleep with you“. Then again, I’m well aware of when that kind of attitude is being directed at me, or people I have something in common with (based on race, religion, gender, etc.). Like most of the world though, I often remain blissfully ignorant of my ignorance until something like the following Slam Poetry video crosses my path.

Now, this one is pretty hilarious, and it’s meant to be. However,

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Slam Sundays: F*** I look like??

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source: http://www.someecards.com

This being the last Slam Sunday in our Black History Month saga, I really wanted to end things off with a bang. I wanted to wrap up every important message I have tried to get across, give you all the general message, in five minutes or less. I figured I would have to give you all several videos, each one saying a lil something something to cover the bases. And actually, that’s exactly what I had started out doing. And then I stumbled across this one. Does it mention in direct words ever little point I’ve mentioned in the past month? No. But each individual point by itself doesn’t matter. There’s a common theme to everything that has been written. A general message that I want to send out with this month of posts. There is a general misperception, a general issue, with the perceptions and knowledge about the North American black community, both from within and from the outside looking in. This young woman managed to sum it up so beautifully….man, it was priceless. Seriously. The raw emotion in her voice, in her words, in the tone and delivery and (more…)

Open Any Bottle of Beer or Wine Sans Opener!

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Displaying classic-ruby-wine-glass.gifUgh. The Sans-Opener part of the title is SOOOO pretentious, right? I know. But “without a” just seemed so long and blah. And I couldn’t think of another short, cute word that just said it all. So I went the pretentious route. So sue me. *tries to look indignant*…*hangs head in shame*.

ANYWAY…While surfing the web a few days ago, I happened upon a website called http://www.telegraph.co.uk/. It’s basically a sort of news blog/site that offers some less than traditional news. As I searched through the pages, I came across this video, and thought to myself MAN! Have I ever needed that video a time or three before! *wink wink – thinks fondly back to Wino Post* And since I STILL do not own a functional wine opener (well, I did. Then I lent it out to a friend…haven’t seen it since. And since she’s moved recently, it’s probably now gone forever. Sigh) I thought it was best that I save this video..just in case. And then I started thinking…I bet there’s all kinds of ways of opening wine…and beer…without an opener. And then the lightbulb…the weekend is fast approaching. My readers must like drinking, otherwise they’d never get through one of my posts! So then it’s really only the decent, neighborly thing for me to do…I must share my newfound wealth (hey now, knowledge is wealth) with (more…)

Black People Love Us – Laughter Feels Good

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You know, every once in a while people need a laugh. Life gets too hectic, too confusing, too serious…and all you really want is to run away from it, fall into a ditch and hide there for eternity even. And then you dust the dirt off, stand up, head high and make the decision that you’re about to start moving forward today…only…how the HELL to shake it off? And that’s when someone tells you the corniest joke on the planet and you laugh your ass off for the next 5 minutes – even the (more…)

Pizza Pizza Sucks Donkey Bum…There, I Said It

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Today, Pizza Pizza really proved to me why I’ve always considered them to pizza as you would Rabba to a grocery store…it’s got the basics, but if you’re looking for something less than mild disappointment, you better go find yourself at your local Supermarket. In fact, if it wasn’t for their creamy garlic dipping sauce, I would probably just put Pizza Pizza on my list of things not to do (I’m allergic to eggs, and their dipping sauce happens to be the only garlic dipping sauce that doesn’t have my little death ingredient in it…*sigh*).  What I should have done to save stomach (nope, still have zero answers or relief concerning my stomach issues…yaayyy me!) and money and to have not been imaginarily kicking myself in the ass for 25 minutes while I sat on hold with customer service while they figured out how to do their job was to just order from Swiss Chalet. I don’t know WHAT my major malfunction was today, but I was dying for some (more…)

Bullshit: Reason #1 You Can't Believe Everything You Hear

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It’s rare that I’ll actually call something bullshit. But the following can only be described in such terms. What kind of lousy bullshit is this? And who in the hell educated these people? I understand, they are from Africa NOT from Mars under some rock (where I would assume that they had their fingers in their ears and their eyes shut tight). They have all the technology in the world, and all the reasoning skills we do… and yet… I mean, it’s one thing to just disagree with something, for you to personally think it’s morally wrong or whatever. But for someone to come with this load of propaganda and just…bullshit…and try and pass it off as truth…like, wow. Now, I have it here under the humor section for a reason, and that’s mainly because it’s funny as hell. No, honestly, if you watch this video with an uncritical eye, the outrageousness of the claims he makes, the actions, the commentary…it’s all hilarious, it’s all laughable. You’ll probably hate yourself as you find yourself laughing unabashedly at this video. But after you’re done laughing your ass off, remember that (more…)

The Honour System Fails

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As you are well aware of, Classic Ruby is one who promotes truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But that being said, please never mistake me as the type who is so naive and blinded by the truth and the “right path” that I’m unable to see the fallacy in most human behaviour. When it comes to lying, as I’m sure you’ve noticed in life (every day of it in fact), no matter how much more complex, difficult, or unpleasant it’ll make things, people tend to lie (not me) when they develop some assinine idea that in that instant it would make things better. And for that reason, boys and girls, in most successful and populated-with-the-importants businesses and areas security and other types of enforcement just won’t take your word for it that you’re not out to do harm. Seriously. I dare you: go to a lake and stand RIGHT NEXT TO a sign that says “don’t feed the ducks” while holding a half full bag of bread. Reach your hand into the bag, then turn to face the lake and the ducks but instead of feeding the birds, feed a piece to yourself. Make (more…)

World Cup Rules Wives/Partners/Girlfriends etc. MUST Follow

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Sorry y’all, I had pre-scheduled the release of my blog posts at the beginning of the week, and apparently they didn’t go out. Since I didn’t have an opportunity to get on here and fix this little issue, you’ve been postless all week, and I’ve looked like the big bad meanie-poopie-head who just doesn’t care about your feelings. SO not true. I apologize profusely.

Now that that’s out of the way, on to today’s post (don’t worry, I’ll make sure you catch the glory of the other posts next week!). My hairdresser’s husband told her that there was something for her on the fridge. Not being a big sports fan, she knew that the World Cup was beginning very soon (more…)

101 Dalmations (OK, this has NOTHING to do with dogs lol)

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Because this is my 101 post, and 101 reminds me of dalmations with their black and white spots, I decided this post would be as black and white as possible, and I would try and get damn near 101 somethings…I’ll tell you what 101 I made it to at the end of the day ;-).

I’m wondering this morning why it is that some people insist on making fools of themselves. I understand wanting to have all the attention on you, but when you just end up being the butt of everyone’s joke, the drunken slob who’s good to laugh AT not WITH…I don’t see how it’s possible that you’re able to wake up in the morning and respect yourself. Seriously. And I don’t feel bad for treating these people like the sideshow freaks that they’re so determined to act like…obviously they’re going way out of their way for attention, be it good or bad, and who am I to get in the way of them reaching their goal? (more…)