Category: relationships

Puppy-Dog Philanderer’s: Cheating & Relationships: Part 3

I’ve been getting some emails, as well as being asked by some friends, about cheating concerns… rather than rewrite about topics I’ve already covered, I figured reintroducing you all to my three part series on cheating and relationships might be just the thing to do in this situation. So enjoy y’all, I hope for those of you with questions it’ll help give your situation some clarity. For some of your more specific questions that aren’t answered by this series, stay tuned for the follow up… part 4 of this series coming soon to a Classic Ruby post near you!

Classic Ruby: Unadulterated

So, you’re in a great relationship. Your mate treats you very well, you get along great and share everything with each other, have passed that 3 year mark and are even talking about moving in with one another/getting married/having kids/__________(insert taking it to the next level example here), and then BAM!, without warning you find that your mate is spending more and more time online chatting, spending more time with a friend or co-worker, or arranging to see that play they really were dying to see with someone special-with someone else. You, being the fully secure, rational human being

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Slam Sundays: Things I’m Ashamed of and Things That Don’t Shame Me (Even if YOU Think They Should)

So. I was gonna do a deep and meaningful Slam Sundays. I really, truly was. But I just love this chicks style so very, very much. I was beyond entertained, and I think we all deserve to catch a message and a chuckle. That, and I’ve come down with the flu and feel like death on wheels. Soooooo I’ll save that whole deep and meaningful theme for next week and instead throw some “just because they’re entertaining as hell” poetry slams your way. So check it out y’all, and enjoy!

See? Tell me you didn’t laugh, at least twice. Ok, so the next one, was funny and yet awesome, in the fact that it’s actually social commentary on a whole different type of “ism”. Hmmmm, what could I call it? (more…)

OMG… It’s NOT You..It Really IS Me

So, the other day I was having a conversation with a friend, and as is usual for me, while it was a “catching up on each others lives” conversation, I was also falling into the role of amateur psychologist. You see, after a string of trainwreck relationships that she had jumped into quick and deep, she had finally found someone “normal”. It’s not that in the past she had TRIED to get into relationships with psychotic and/or delusional people who on the surface seemed like normal, stable people but deep down were actually pathological liars, abusive freaks, or just generally slack individuals. No. On the surface, for about five seconds, these failed mates seemed to offer exactly what she was looking for: someone who was stable and established in life, who was done looking for drama and the next party in all the wrong places, and was looking for a like-minded individual to settle down with, raise children, buy a house with a white picket fence, and grow old and gray and happy together. The problem was, technically even sociopaths and child molesters want those things: so finding someone who WANTS something doesn’t really guarantee, on any level, that you find someone who is anywhere near capable of actually PROVIDING you with those things for any extended period of time.

Ok, so on to the new relationship. I was telling you she finally found someone who not only appeared to be stable and down to earth and ready for a committed relationship, but 5 months later hasn’t grown three heads and started worshipping Satan. Great!!! Right? Yeaahhh…no. Not so great. But why, you may be asking yourself. She (more…)

Better Get Them Flakes Off Ya Shoulders!

And no, I don’t mean dandruff (although, quite frankly, if your shoulders are covered in dandruff, it still isn’t a good look, and you might wanna do something about that..I hear head and shoulders is a cheap and efficient solution *wink wink*). I’m talking about flaky friends. You know the type: always make plans with you and then cancel last second, never anywhere to be found when you need them, but yet clearly they do actually remember your number because you’re the first person they call when they want or need something.

I have a few of these flaky friends. And as evil as this might sound, I think its just about time that I finally do brush the flakes out of my life: it ain’t cute, it feels crummy as hell to be flaked on all the time, and as I always say, negativity can, and always does, breed more negativity.  The sad thing is, before we come to the realization that these friends are (more…)

Why Do I Do What I Do?

Today I had a conversation with a friend. It’s not that the convo was particularly original, given my brand of open honesty when it comes to just about everything. Nor was it particularly insightful. I didn’t solve one damned problem in my life, I didn’t get one answer…and boy, have I ever been searching for answers to some pretty meaningful questions. But, for some reason, as I said goodbye and walked toward my house, I realized that something within me had changed. My thoughts didn’t become linear..quite frankly, they never have been. In fact, I think I would die of boredom if my mind wasn’t consistently deluged with seemingly inconsistent and inconsequential facts and thoughts and ideas that needed to be (more…)

So-Called Baby Brain

I am SOOO glad I don’t have kids, just for the fact that I don’t ever wanna be one of the women that
enjoys things like that lol

Yes…that is a quote said by ME lol. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t EVER want to have children and a family of my own, or that I hate children or..I don’t know, whatever other negative connotation you could have possibly gotten from that comment. Ok, lets pause for 10 seconds, and I’ll give you a brief background so you’ll get where I’m coming from…

1. I don’t have that many female friends, on account of the fact that I find most women I encounter to be (more…)

What A Man Wants; What A Girl Needs

I think there are some women out there who have the WRONG idea when it comes to what men want out of them and a relationship. Or maybe I should instead phrase this as, “what a man wants from a woman and a relationship that will make him commit and ultimately want to be in it (and with her) for the long haul”. Now, don’t get me wrong here. I do not claim to be a man, or such an expert on men that I can predict or tell you EVERYTHING that they want. Nor do I claim that each and every man is the same and that therefore there is some basic list of secrets that, once known, can hook any man to a woman for life. But I think there is one basic aspect that EVERY man, no matter who they are, ultimately is looking for from a woman and a long term relationship (whether or not they know it), and that any woman who can get this one little thing (more…)

Self Confidence

Your pathetic attempt at appearing self-assured is a waste of time. Not only is it not working, but nobody really cares. Try being authentic for a change. Try ACTUALLY believing in yourself for once. Spend more time loving you instead of pretending you’re loveable.

The thing about self confidence is, if you don’t have it, no matter how hard you try you just can’t fake it. Sure, you can pretend to be the self confident diva or dude, walk around with your head up, shoulders back and attempt to radiate “I believe in ME” vibes. But more often than not your false confidence will come off as cocky at best. Or lame, like you’re trying waaaayyyy too hard. At worst you come off as (more…)

Slam Saturdays: On Sex y’all

I know I’ve been scarce this week, and I apologize. All the agonizing and preparing for my 5 day hospital stay starting this coming Monday has clearly been affecting me more than I thought it was, because boy has time flown! But neither rain, nor hail, nor personal catastrophe can get me to forget about my beloved Slam Saturdays. This weekend, I’ve got a special one lined up for you. Since we’ve been talking all about sex his past couple weeks, I thought I’d keep up the theme for Slam Saturdays. Now, I know you’ve already gotten a little dose of Spoken Word Sex from the gorgeous Laith’s Brain Sex, but here are a few more that I think will do this topic justice. Enjoy (more…)

The Misunderstanding: Part 2

Finally, part two has arrived. Sorry for the week long delay, but I hope it ends up being well worth the wait! Enjoy! If you missed part one, you can catch it here.

The food court comes into view. In fact, I realize I’m a lot closer than I had noticed. Too close. I cant get the thoughts out of my mind. Forget the strip club. That wasn’t the biggest problem, the biggest lie, the biggest betrayal. I think about this for what seems an eternity, although I don’t seem to get much closer to the food court. I can’t, I suddenly realize. I cant let her know, Ive just got to stop. I’ll stop everything. If she gives me a chance, I’ll be true to her. I make the vow to myself silently, but I know I mean it.

At least I think I do. It’s hard to determine what thoughts cross your mind because you mean them, and what thoughts only occur to you because you’re (more…)